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While You Are Away

 

 

Did you know that at night

while you are away at work

I cry from the time you leave

until the time you return?


There is so much on my mind

that leaves me to bleed

from my arms to my fingers

until I no longer bleed at all.

 

Did you know that at night

while you are away at work

I scream so loud sometimes

that I cannot speak another word?

 

I can't think of anything else at times

then the pain that I relive over and over

deep inside my restless thoughts

thinking of things you say I shouldn't.

 

Did you know that at night

while you are away at work

I can't sleep because my worries

keep me restless all night long?

 

I can't keep hurting like this

it's driving me completely insane

playing and toying with my emotions

while you're gone away at night.

 

Did you know that at night

while you are away at work

I hear my grandma calling to me

telling me it's time to come home.

 

These worries you say I should not have

they are the only thing I think about

and I cannot change who I am

no matter how hard you try.

 

I'm sorry, I am who I am

and not what you want me to be.

 

 

Author notes

AP NAME: Rainbow LIps

My husband tells me that I need not to worry about things so much. But I am who I am, I am a mother hen at her wits end. I worry and stress about everyone and everything, even if it's irrelevent to me. I love people, and I don't like to see them hurting, if I could take away everyones pain, I would. But in the meantime. I can't handle my own emotions and problems.

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • shysky
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    It sounds as if you're every thought is consumed by the fact that one night he may not come home. That one night you will get that fated call to tell you that the love of your life is no longer on this earth and that you prepare yourself for it every night.

    I understand the feeling, the rationalization of it. I understand that pacing the floors the heartache that weighs your body down. The hole inside that heart that isn't filled until that person walks back through the door and is suddenly there with you again.

    I understand it because I do it nightly as well.

    You are not alone.

  • jadeangyal
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    Heartfelt poem and amazing pic. As some of the other readers have suggested, I hope you can get some help. The stress of all that worry is getting dumped on someone, and if it's not your husband, then it's certainly you. Can you see that this much worry is not good for you? There is a way to get past this without losing yourself. Trust those who truly love you to help you through this, and God bless.


  • Selestial
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    Touching & Heartfelt

    Oh my God... my chest welled up with just the picture! Then, to read your words... if I could reach through here and give you a hug and tell you it will be okay, I would do it! So heartfelt and emotional! Keep writing and expressing, it's such a good tool! Thank you for sharing this with us.


  • dwellondreams
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, sorrowful, and real. I loved it. I'm sorry that you worry so much, but at least you are able to release a little bit of it through your writing. This was powerful and compelling and I feel for you. Great write.


  • Heroesrox
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    Is that you in the pic? You need a tissue, darling! Heartfelt write! Thanks so much for the share and I hope that all gets well!


    • Asylaarix
      February 20
      Edit | Reply
      That is ineed me in that pictures. Thank you for your lovely comment. Much luv and respect to you.

      Asylaarix


  • jayyniecakes.
    January 24

    Edit | Reply

    heart felt........

    I really love this poem...... it really touched me. made mehhh cry......... ;(

    playing and toying with my emotions
    while you're gone away at night.

    thats my favorite part^^^^^

    xoxojane

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    I know people will say that there is no such thing as loving or caring too much when it comes to empathy.

    Still, I know where you are coming through. I've spent days weeping and depressed over some news story or other about people I don't know, far away, that I will never meet....

    I spent most of my life worrying over ever word I chose to speak, so that I wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings.

    I gave out smiles and encouragement and would work my hands to the bone for someone else but I never saved a scrap for myself.

    My husband told me the same thing. Because in the end, all the empathy I had was killing me and making me disappear.

    I spent years in therapy. The only good (or bad as some might think) that came from that time was the result of drug therapy. The meds they put me on were too powerful, thye took away all of my emotions rather than just enough to be healthy. Somewhere, between feeling too much and feeling nothing is where I am now. I choose what I will worry over and make a cognitive choice not to over-think that which I cannot change. I don't take meds anymore but without them... I would be the photo here.

    Worry, I think, is as addictive as drugs and alcohol and can destroy a life.

    Hope you will find your own in between s and best wishes always...~Genie~

  • Angel1002
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes love is just so intense you can not help the way you react. When my husband and I got maried 10 yrs ago, I cried every time we were apart. It was as if half of my soul was gone with him. Trust me it gets easier. I still worry and fret when he is away, he travels alot, but it is no longer tears of temporary loss, it is just plain worry that he is ok. The more you write about it and express your feelings, the more you will be able to cope with it. There is hope and it will be ok. Beautiful write, and I wish you luck.


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've been there and I feel this from the bottom of my heart. It's hard to change who you are for someone else even when you do love them, but sometimes they really do know what's best. Great write!


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh wow this is amazzing sweetheart
    The flow is disrupted and the rhyme slowly fades away but the poem overall is so great, i can feel the emotions pouring out. all my love
    kitty xx


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gosh, this is so deep and sad!
    What a terrible feeling to have inside
    of you all of the time. I hope that
    everything works out for you and that
    you soon find yourself in a more serene
    and loving place. Take care and thanks
    so much for sharing this personal write
    here. Good luck to you with it in my
    contest!





    Jeremy0826

1 - 12 of 12