The very last glow
of the sun
catches and clings
to your hair
Shadows find the dark
of your eyes
Teasing smile
directed at me
crickets chirping
in the summer evening
Maybe you should sit
closer to me
Grab my hand
in yours
Maybe you should tell me
quiet in the breeze
soft whisper
you love me
Maybe we should sit here
watch the sun glow down
smell the grass
gentle hum of traffic
My breath catches
Heart roaring
When you do
August 5, 2008 Tuesday
Author notes
I wrote this in thinking about how beautiful the simplicity of falling in love with someone is. On how so often the small things are the ones that are the best and the things that we remember the most. The comfortable feeling of sitting with someone we love, and have them love you back.
A contest entry
- lovelovelove! ^-^ by sora..
700 points, ended September 3, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by She Stole My Voice.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FAVORITE PREWRITES by stylization.
550 points, ended October 10, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is beautiful. It's quite sweet, and I love the simplicity of it. Thank you so much for entering, and best of luck!
-
Bandit appreciation!
Thank you for this fine contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the bronze
~Lilac
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Very beautiful poem!
I think we all enjoy the thrill and fine feelings when we fall in love. I like the imagery and feelings expressed within this poem. It has an imaginative use of our language, expressimg the images we all seem to feel at these romantic times! I like this little piece, a great deal!
-
"
The very last glow
of the sun
catches and clings
to your hair"
That was my favorite part.
Thank you for entering and good luck ♥
-rainbow. -
I love this poem!!! I am getting married in a year and this describes some of the feelings and times I have spent with my Goddess very well.
Well Done.
May the stars gaurd you today.
DW
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I really liked the setup of the first stanza - the rest flows well and finishes with a bang! The short lines and stanzas continually make the reader pause and enjoy the imagery that you are serving - congratulations on the bronze, it was well deserved
Keep writing
Polly
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How beautiful you have expressed falling in love in it's simplicity way
My heart is beating in time with your words
Lovely!
Congrats on Bronze!
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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wow o_0
i absolutely love this!
perfectly captures the raw emotion of falling in love.
great work.
=]
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