Bats, bats, bats
bats those lashes again
and gets her way, pretty
lines and a laugh that
convinces God himself
to be bad.
Run, run, run
run as far from Truth
for as long as you can,
but she'll find you and
you'll tell her things
in whispers.
Straight, straight, straight
straight to hell, she lives
in an abyss of niceties,
a charming lie you've yet
to really see.
They, they, they
they like to pretend, but
control is not a choice,
it's a given, and it was
never given to them, so
take it back.
You, you, you,
you can't have the keys
to every kingdom, or the
locket in every girl's heart;
Just soldier-walk away, don't
look behind you.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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very intresting a nice format of how the poem is put together. GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!
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They, they, they
they like to pretend, but
control is not a choice,
it's a given, and it was
never given to them, so
take it back.
Loving that stanza!!!!
It's beautiful....
I've never tried a poem in this format... Maybe I should...?
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hehe you should!
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I love it.
Oh, I like this a lot. I like the repetition of the words in the first line and how they continue beginning the phrase of the second line. I can't really think of much criticism of this; I don't really understand it, but I love it. It's amazing. Just, in the second-to-last line, there should be a space: "Just soldier- walk away, don't."
Lovely write.
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Thank you so much!
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