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Rusty Jazz (freeform)

Like a faded note on a window sill,
smelling of apple and daisy,
edges of violet ink glide, ominous.
Rusty words moving sideways,
emollient beat in a sashay fashion,
with youthful braggadocio.
But not humble, tough like you.
Jazz, baby. Rusty jazz.

© Jim T. Henriksen,
September 2nd, 2008.

Author notes

Word bank: Apple, braggadocio, daisy, emollient, humble, jazz, moving, note, ominous, rusty, sashay, tough, violet, window, youthful.

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    June 29

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    Oh Gosh... that makes so much sense.. describing the genre of Jazz like this.. is just.. great, I think you really captured it for me. Well done here.


    • Starhiker
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      This poem could be about jazz, indeed, but it is more about a lady, no longer as young as she wish she was. Think of it that way, and read it once more. Thanks for the comment, Shirley! Jim


  • Lencio Rodrigues
    October 19, 2008

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    brilliant, yeah I know what you mean by direct! I read your monchielle in the adult category, it is good. actually I was inspired by you! hahaha!

    This is a great write and you have used the words just in the right way and place, no wonder its a winner anyway! Loved this, never knew why I left this in between the two poems I read even when it had JAZZ in the title which is one of my favourite music genres. Well done!

    Love and light,
    Lencio

    • Starhiker
      November 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am pleased that you liked my jazz poem. It is not often I write in freeform, because as I told Linda (below) it is just as much a challenge for me as a normal form poem. So, you missed this poem between the adult monchielle and my newest? Well, you missed another one too, between the adult one and this. To help you find it, look for the title "The Beggar". Thanks for the comment, and for your applause, my dear friend.

      Jim


  • HopelessScribbles gold member
    September 26, 2008

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    hey this was good

    rarely see a freeform from you, but this with word bank was very well put to a poem to appreciate, thanks for sharing, congrats!! on the win too!!
    Linda

    • Starhiker
      September 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Free Form is just as much as a challenge for me as form poetry, because contrary to what many seem to think, you can't just write down something random without rhyme, rhythm, or shape, and call it poetry. If it has neither, then it is a short story, or novella. When mixed with a word bank, it gets harder still, as with any form mixed with another or defined rules. Thanks for comment, and for applause! Jim

  • Judith Chandler
    September 4, 2008

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    I like the image of the faded note. I like the violet ink and "smelling of apple and daisy" It seem like a play of words, two different meanings of "note" since you mention jazz later on.

    A fun write. Thanks a lot for it.


    • Starhiker
      September 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hey, Judy!

      Thanks a lot for the silver trophy! I am glad my freeform poem was enjoyed so much. Thanks! Jim

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