Joyous light has just leaked on me.
My excited heart has just peaked on me.
The silent wind that once blew me down,
has subdued from whence it threw me down,
reverted to a cool summer breeze,
no longer does it hum a freeze.
The warmth within is now built a glow,
to a flame that can now filter snow.
Joyous light is now shined for me,
created love that has pined for me.
The rain that once imprisoned me,
has spilled out to where I envisioned me,
left inside, ugly but slight remains,
but most of all, a place where fight regains.
A strength, rendered formidable
That isn't lost, nor ridable.
Author notes
The joy of finding self love and worth
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 9 Feelings - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended September 7, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Thank you for your entry in the contest. An interesting poem about finding yourself. Your rhyme scheme is repetitive, out of 16 lines you have 6 rhymed with 'me' and 2 'down', this is not what we are looking for.
All the best
Sue and Jeff
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That's ok. If you look closely you will find the rhyming much more complex than that. I'm quite ok with it not being what you're looking for but the rhyming scheme is more about the few words that come before the last word than the last word of each line. The rhyme is not about one syllable but more about the whole line. It doesn't matter though as the inspiration is what I wanted and that's what I got. The last word of each line is for convinience more than anything, I tend not to think inside the box, and this contest lead me out of it so I'm happy. Thank you for the comment
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