Unless you check the forms you write
You'll often look a silly fool
Retourne and quatern do not quite
Obey the same repeating rule
You'll often look a silly fool
If you rely on memory
It can be quite a fragile tool
at least if you're as old as me
Retourne and quatern do not quite
Sit easily within my mind
I find repeats an awkward sight
Preferring verse more freshly lined
Obey the same repeating rule
As in the past French poets used
I've headed back to poet's school
So readers will not be confused
Author notes
Some silly fool (who shall be nameless but it rhymes with thicketdeaf) wrote a quatern for this contest because he didn't check and misremembered the rules.
In a list
A contest entry
- Retourne to Form by Age of Rain.
1175 points, ended September 21, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I find this to be quite amusing. I once tried to write a kyrielle and ended up with some other sonnet monstrosity. *laughs* I think nearly every poet can relate to this and find it funny. Well done!
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Nice flow, and funny, at your own expense too. I like the poem, and therefore it succeeds, whether it sticks to the rules or not.
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Line 11, "site"...shouldn't that be "sight"?
Overall, this flowed well. It's good for what it is.
Just Me
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Yes, thanks, fixed now
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The is as bad as it can get
for now I've lost a damning bet
as CJ admits he was wrong.
I'll send the twenty bucks along
to Amera down by the sea
(this smacks of a conspiracy!)
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Admitting faults is rare for me
You see I have so few
But when I'm wrong I cheerfully
Own up to what I do
It's only those who're seldom right
Who find it hard to face
The consequences of their plight
And take their proper place
So pay your dues and let Queen
Carouse as is here way
The fairest maid that you have seen
Has beaten you today
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It is a trap you're full of crap
for that is not the way
tis those that screw up all the time
that speak to me this way
so all the same go play your game
and I will move along
and know full well that you will not
admit how oft you're wrong
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What errors and who cares anyway. It was a great poem and rules or no rules it looks just right to me.
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You see, it just goes to show it can happen to the best of us. Excellent. This is clever and lively. I loved it. ~Pamela
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Well written but perhaps you should change the last verse to
'So readers won't be more confused' or something like that.
I'm writing a Retourne reply. Hope you'll read it
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hehe... Ok then! I love it and I hope I keep my forms on target. I know about feeling like a silly fool, someone always anounces my errors to show their superiority. Well done El Cricketjeff!
Love,
Amera♥
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So what? It was a good poem! Should have kept your fingers crossed and maybe the judge wouldn't have noticed. I didn't. But then I wouldn't know a retourne from Obama's elbow!
Anyhow, I hear that this... wossname... picketchef... writes pretty good poetry.
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Love it! I must attempt one of these. Yours is very witty! Pam
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hey i know who it is i know i know.,,,,
i wont mention no names....
great job here
Good luck
love you
Tory
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I love form! And now I have learned a new one. Maybe I will try it. Thanks, Jeff!
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I don't like form... hehe I use my own form which is- NONE AT ALL! But lovely and quiet unusual poem about form, a little humourous, I love the use of words... I actually have no idea what any form is called =D xD I say, luck to thee on this contest, and keep on writing.
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