while we sit in backless chairs and cheer to
the sky,
you are unaware that i am just waiting to
break you in
three.
all i have is a piece of my soul in your hands
and you are watching me with a smile as i
pushpushpush it under my skin.
you clamp onto me with your free words and
smirks and i just
keep digging away at the ground with my
clean fingers that are slowly
clenching in an unorthodox fashion
that reek of whiskey and a band that plays only for
the sound that comes when they finish a song.
i am making a decision that will
tell you what you did
wrong.
it is beauty and the chance to view a sunrise
over the horizon and an empty plate with
forks and knives and a floor that cleans
itself.
you look at me and i am
sprawled out on the bed like
a sheet with my toes wrapped around the dictionary
that spews out words i can't pronounce
and your smile that makes me fall into
the floor boards and just
sit
with my un-poetic gestures
and the words that i can't make
flow.
Author notes
ugh, i really suck lately. like really.
this probably wasn't anything that you wanted.
but this is what i got when i thought of lonely moons...
bah. ily.
A contest entry
- little baby nothing. by girl shaman.
700 points, ended September 25, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
it could be so simple
Comments
-
this is sick.
"break you in "
"all i have is a piece of my soul in your hands"
"you clamp onto me with your free words and
smirks and i just
keep digging away at the ground with my
clean fingers that are slowly
clenching in an unorthodox fashion"
sick.
idk what else to say, this carries so much truth.[not just those lines]
and very amazing word choice.
peace
-
"sprawled out on the bed like
a sheet with my toes wrapped around the dictionary
that spews out words i can't pronounce"
Arrrhh! The imagery!
And the title..
Amazing, as usual. Great to see you're writing more.
(:
-
"it is beauty and the chance to view a sunrise
over the horizon and an empty plate with
forks and knives and a floor that cleans
itself."
- Intense stanza. I just felt that verse for some reason and it stood out to me. The ending is final and truthful and I don't think you should touch it...Again, do not put down your work. I say that because I see so much talent overflowing from your pieces. That second stanza alone is just raw and to the point.
"that reek of whiskey and a band that plays only for
the sound that comes when they finish a song."
- Ouch. So much of this poem comes to life, even through the scrape of words digging up and leaving bits of your soul behind...
;
-
Wow..... This is so awesome. I love your writing style. You have something unique - with your words.
This is excellent.
Reallly!
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