The clouds roll in:
another fight,
pounding the din
of clashing light,
all held within
foreboding might
as Neptune's spin
moves into sight.
All is tied down
and boarded up
throughout the town
shaped like a cup.
Patience drawn all too thin:
this time the people win.
Author notes
Gustav vs. New Orleans...New Orleans wins! The people are a might bit smarter this time 'round....Thank God! 
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I am perpelxed by the "author notes" who is Gustav? And how did he lose a fight? And so on... maybe I'm just thick.
Wait! Wait! I got it! It's about a storm. Duh. -
Hurricane stuff
Yes, very good, nicely expressed,must be terrifying. I have forgotten why some are males, and some are females. And wonder whether people still speak French Creole around there. And... the mind wanders.
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A really simple but moving poem. It's great to see the spirit of a place can stand up to the weather whatever it chooses to throw at it. :-) I really liked the hope here.
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Thanks doll, the spirit of that city, I'm quite convinced can tackle just about anything, for it thrives within the hearts of the people.
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Hi, many will relate to this poem, each in a different way, lovely write, Di
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Thanks...that is my hope for all of my poetry...universality.
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Nice
Excellent work. I entered a contest on AP with "In Scraps I Tramp Like a Ghost," also about those one-eyed storms, but it did not impress the judge, methinks. Your poem is perfect
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Thank you, this poem was an effort to control the few things that I could at the time, me emotions and my words...certainly I couldn't make m'dad and brother get out of the storm's path and I couldn't change it's comin'. Thanks so much for readin' and commentin' on this poem...you are rather generous in your observations.
As for contests on this site; I wouldn't take too much stock in them unless the poetry of the person runnin' it is of a level that would give them wit enough to be a good judge of the art.
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Wonderful
Very well done. A terrific creation. Such a great description and well written. Thank you for sharing.
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I beg your pardon, but, what contest? Thanks for the kind comment on this piece. I was ever so glad to see my hometown. friends, and family pull through in better shape this time 'round.
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A very good command of poetic technique. The tight lines are impressive.
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Thank you it was in exercise in controlling the words and my emotions all at once. Your comments are appreciated.
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Neptune's spin.... love the images this evokes... could you expand it a bit?
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The shortened lines draw the poem tight, in its resistance to the storm. The rhymes catch quickly, like the effective movements of the people. The images are vivid, drawing readers to the scene, especially "Neptune's spin".
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Thanks darlin' We're a stubbonr lot of people and I'm thrilled that our idiot mayor did somethin' right for a change. Still no power in much of the state but scores better than anyone imagined. Thanks so much for the comment.
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Short and sweet, but very nicely done. Excellent rhythm and a very solid rhyme scheme. Beautiful imagery, too.
Glad you emerged unscathed Clappy dudes!
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You and those "clappy dudes", you're so funny! Thank you for the very generous comment; I just had to write something to sort of settle everything in my mind. That city is in my blood so to speak and this storm business is gettin' old. Thanks again
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So happy that all turned out okay ...
and glad that you shared the latest news poetically! joy
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Thank you; like I told Eusebius, this poem was an act of relief and gratitude for the outcome.
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Are the black swans from Western Australia, by the way?
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A very interesting poem, with some genuine profundity!
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Thank you; I do so very much appreciate your comments.
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I been worried about you and that ol' town Thank God things were better this time around
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Thanks doll; I appreciate the thougts and the ocmment.
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I love the rhyme, and the short yet meaningful lines. One thing-- I know that not many things rhyme with up, so maybe you could change it? Because "shaped like a cup" sounds a little strange... but still, if you don't change it, it's still fine. The ending is very satisfactory. Good job!
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I used "cup" on purpose because the city is fourteen fet below sea level and water rushes in and fills the place up....most people say "shaped like...the bowl city etc." but those phrases are now cliche and in making an effort to write something fresh I tried to create the same idea with different words: in other words it was not merely for the rhyme. I do thank you ever so kindly for your comments.
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Bravo
A superb and most lyrical poem! I loved it, and a fine addition to Night Hope's "Beautiful Words by Beautiful People"! bravo...
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Well thank you Michael It is a matter of relief.
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Hallelujah!!!
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Absolutely Thanks so much for reading.
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