Hands wave... gasp air between breaths
fire oozes from angry eyes as she sits.
Cold silence engulfs the house. He weaves
words as if writing on the wall as he stands,
"Get real". She jumps from the chair
flailing at the air "The usual answer,
if you can't think of anything", is pinched
quickly from her sign. His smile defuses
her fury as they hug; exchanging kisses.
The quiet is complete as they sip tea,
hands placed on the table. Tempers
cool as they relax.
Her silent hands intensity flash
"I'm deaf, not stupid" as she touches
her forehead and hands fly to cup words
inches from his face. Her eyes hard as
steel, drumlins offer more warmth than
iced chill of her touch. Conceding,
cold shoulder tonight, he lies on the couch.
She sighs as to have walked thousands
of steps, nowhere. He gets up, slams
the bathroom door to feel vibrations
against the wall.
Author notes
Prompt: Silent hands
A contest entry
- Title Prompt by silverscent.
525 points, ended September 3, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be Inspired by Your Senses... by harriet567.
450 points, ended October 6, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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a good poem, the topic is a good one, i have a couple on it - i like the fiery start then calmness appears for a brief time - aye, so many think stupid when deaf does not mean so, my sister signs though she is not deaf. i like too the vibrations at the end of the poem, showing anger once again in the arguement.
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Wonderful
Very creative and so well expressed. A terrific write for the theme. Best of luck in the contest.
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Brilliant. You seem to have a remarkable insight into the silent world of the deaf and the people who can never quite totally share that world with them. Wonderful imagery.
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I like very much what you did with the title. That alone creates some imagery and thoughts.
I'm sorry, but I had to keep rereading the poem because I kept stumbling over the words.
What I did like though is how you portrayed intense anger through silence. That is difficult to do.
I just have a suggestion, in the very last lines, from a deaf perspective wouldn't "to feel vibrations against the wall" be more appropriate?Thanks for entering.
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silverscent
Thank you for you suggestion on change, that does increase the power of the work. I hope that was the only problem, if you can offer other changes I would appreciate it. You are right it is difficult to write how I think they could act, they are deaf-not stupid. I know they deal with life, anger just like anyone else. Thanks for the encouragement to change this .
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Amazing Poem
What an amazing poem you have penned about the deaf. So original my friend. Your story was so heartfelt and draws the reader into the sadness and frustration she must be feeling. Thank you for sharing and best of luck. Sounds like a winner!!
A pleasure to read.
Blessings,
Sandy
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