These mental waves
Threaten to swamp me
This treacherous water
Tries to drown
I feel as though
I am barley floating
Fighting a current
Fighting the sound
Black clouds let in no sun light
Bleak thoughts surround
I have never been one for praying
I have never given God a second thought
But the Hurricane is raging
Beyond all saving from these thoughts
Then just when I seen no ending
The waves come to a halt
And then I can see a rainbow
An ultimate sign of hope
Author notes
I have been feeling like I am stuck in a metal rip tide. I guess this is why I feel this way today.
A contest entry
- God Enters Through The Wound by Envelope.
2600 points, ended September 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Nice way----
to express the fear of death(the hurricane)--And love of life(the rainbow)--So every day alive brings hope? Nice thought's--------
-
Hmm In my opinion this was good as poems go, the emotion felt real, and it was easy to read into. However in comparison to some of the other pieces, it was a bit more straightforward, didn't leave too much to really think on, more of a personal ode to the prompt rather than a contemplation. SO on the poetic front I'd say A+, but for this contest, C at best
Adding your comment:
