Long darkness threatened, making soul afraid,
aghast to ask his maid did heart requite;
but strengthened love would bloom despite the shade.
Ill taunting hues probed deep if he was swayed,
so moved enough to sing his yearning plight.
Long darkness threatened making soul afraid,
'til trembling voice was lost in lover's glade--
that beauteous vast, where shadow daunted might;
but strengthened love would bloom despite the shade.
Receded light his soul-song must pervade,
defeating every element less bright--
long darkness threatened, making heart afraid.
Cautious, ardent, heartsick notes he weighed
deciding swift ‘tween fear and soul’s delight--
that strengthened love would bloom despite the shade.
Resounding gloom resisted serenade,
fair lover’s pleading hope that rose through night.
Long darkness threatened, making heart afraid
but strengthened love would bloom despite the shade.
Author notes
Definition villanelle: standard villanelle, aba,aba,aba,aba,aba,abaa with repeated refrains, PLUS the last word or phase of each line is defined by a word or phrase in the next line.
afraid=aghast
heart requited=love
shade=ill taunting hues
swayed=so moved
yearning plight=long darkness
afraid=trembling
glade=beauteous vast
might=strengthened love
shade=receded light
pervade=defeating lesser elements
less bright=darkness
afraid=cautious
weighed=decided between
soul's delight=strengthened love
shade=resounding gloom
serenade=lover's pleading hope
night=long darkness
In a list
A contest entry
- Villanelle with Meaning by Peteskid.
2250 points, ended September 3, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I love this song that you have put together great work. This made me smile , thanks for reading one of my poems that means a lot to me. Again this was very very good lots of love SH.
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I'm in awe of this. How can something so formulaeicly (a word?) complex be so flowing, natural and beautiful. Your talent is icredible. A word smith of the highest order!
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Forge of Music
this is really good. congrats on the bronze!!! have a nice day, -slick99 -
Your definitions are very good ten!
This form can be a pain, but once we get it going, the reward is so great
You have yours very nicely done
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Just wonderful! A very fine Villanelle and I don't think they are too easy to wirte. You have created a p[iece with such amazing and beautiful imagery and the whole piece flowed like a gentle river.
I also love the way this ended on such a positive note, when throughout you leave the reader in some doubt, right until that last line!
A very talented write.
All the best with this
gaylene
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A fine villanelle.
You certainly footnoted well!
Iambic pentameters roll; you stick to the form and connections are made. The form is difficult to achieve spontaneity in but you have fluently displayed the craft.
I must commend you on your thoughtful and metaphorical title.
Lyndon. 
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this is beautiful..T!
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Beautiful. You did a masterful job here, ten.
Good luck in the contest.
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Excellent
You control well the form hidden in the shade
Thanks for drawing forth / the explanation.
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A finely flowing villanelle form with wonderful expression and a solid end-rhyme scheme, not reaching to make rhymes but smoothly choosing words to define and narrate; so very well done; some excellent use of imagery within the form too. The definition lines are well done and even without the author's notes are clear. Overall some excellent work here. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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