I pined for you
so, I sought you out
I asked about the village proper
I was told
go to the door
of the Severed Heart
and I did as I was told
I unfettered fame and fortune
for you were my only goal
I peered through the door
awashed and disgusted
such ghastly sights assaulted me
none that Saintly eyes should ever see
I left the village properly
the way any Saintly cosmopolitan should
I had been betrayed
ashamed, dismayed
I longed for you no more
and left my heart upon that door
As I passed through this village once more
One score and five years after
I stood perplexed
how I remained erect
still, this day, dumbfounds me
Above the door
that I so abhorred
three words blatantly mocked me
for this was not the Severed Heart
that wicked door that haunts my dreams
Oh, the deception I've lived
the mistake I made
for over said door
three words announced
'Tis the Splintered Spade
A contest entry
- Do What You Do Best by Errant Panther.
450 points, ended September 18, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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great piece with a very different perspective, I like the medieval aspect of the theme and the twist where the words of another usurped desire and changed the characters life as it were. well done.
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I like this, poet! It's been so long since I read lines like: "I pined..." or "I longed..." In this day and age, most 'writers' are so unimaginative, uncreative, and crude with their words. They stumble along like long tongued freaks trying to speak; limited vocabularies. Most times I'm afraid to post multisyllybic words although some monosyllybic words can confuse as well. ANYWAY... NICE, bro..
Dez
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Wow....this is is incredible. Truly enjoyed this. Love the elegant language.
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Aw shucks...
Thanks sweety... you are too kind.
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