no one answers the phone
stagnation sits itself on bones
unspoken desires shift and walk
uncomfortably on the
edge.
sped forward time, still there
is no shine. something happened
while spirit glanced at the welfare
line;
inaction fell through cracks of doom
soon, the fat lady did sing
hope, they said she'd bring
today...
when the sky seemed bluer and
the heaven inside
made itself known and the
self-made man no longer walked
Alone.
A contest entry
- 25 Words of Wonder by xxRainbowDawnxx.
525 points, ended September 4, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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For some reason, I find it hard to get past the heart-wrenching quality of this, just feeling strange. I will return to this when I'm able to make more sense, in social/emotional/poetic terms, the depth of reality you have expressed through this....
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"stagnation sits itself on bones" Damn.
Love
Slug
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feeling strange myself...i come unto the site and leave quickly. But thank you for reading my work...it means so much...and I think of you often.
With peace,
LL -
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Obscure and distant as life is, I think of you too, under the surface. Always a pleasure to read, you give a reader so much.....
Love
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This is hopeful...
impressive how a simplistic drawing in words
can convey a personality and its current situation
so clearly, especially in a piece of brevity.
The first stanza packs a powerful punch. Blue
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Wow, thank you so much for your thoughful comments. Hope you know that I admire you...you go to depths that draw my muse to seek deeper and reveal what is true...at least for me.
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Great Job!
The line - (while spirit glanced at the welfare
line)- Reminded me a Bruce Hornsby's song, "The Way It Is"... Nice write, keep up the shine!!
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Thank you...I love that song.
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right back at you, cherry balm and all (nope didn't kiss no gurls before you) Smile.
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Damn!
This is a hot write lady! wow, love this joint 4 real, my favorite line? easy.."stagnation sits itself on bones" DAMN! that's a line!
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Thank you mi amigo!
I was inspired by this young man I met about six years ago. he was so lost, but full of dreams. he now is a latin music producer.
Thank you for your hearty comment. smile
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Beautiful music throughout this piece Lady L . . . as well as a social statement that needs to be expressed . . .
Marc
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