Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Take Me

I stand upon the shore
where I have lived all my life.
I can still see the house that my husband built
when he was here.
By some miracle, it stands
unscathed by your siblings' assaults.
By cruel fate, I still stand
when I want to fall.
I beg of you,
turn your eye toward me
so that through it
I may see my love.
I beg of you,
wrap me in your deadly embrace
so that in it
I may find my love.

Please, tempest of the sea
take me.

Author notes

Not your contemporary prayer.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Hardely any metaphor, why is everyone entering dribble into my contest?!


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your wishes come through loud & clear. Excellent words, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.


    whisper


  • maa gold member
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for this truly heartfelt emotional prayer of despair ... indeed, this was a most unexpected response to the prompt, but I love surprises ... while almost everybody tends to pray for lives to be "saved", your voice wakes us up from our saviour-dream and shows us that a natural catastrophy (as well as illness, so-called accidents etc.) may represent welcome exit-doors for souls who suffer too much and who hope to get rid of their earthly burden through physical death ...
    yet, I can see a very positive and enlightening dimension in your poem as well :

    "turn your eye toward me
    so that through it
    I may see my love"

    since in the eye of a hurricane there is only silence and no movement, I perceive your plea as a desire to find a state of peace, into which the ever-agitated mind has no entrance-ticket ...

    I truly and sincerly wish you peace,
    much love,
    maa


  • Star Shine
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Not your contemporary prayer but a human's heartfelt plea all the same. SO very emotional, very deep, creative and unusual, very captivating to me. Best of luck, God bless you.

  • Emcchesney
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very well written. great emotion was felt through your well chosen words. loved the earnest temptation through the imagery set forth through this piece.

1 - 6 of 6