I know sometimes we refer to things as being timeless
the timeless beauty of a rose
the timeless sound of a great song
or a beautiful sunset over an endless ocean
that paints the sky in a timeless picture
Often things that seem timeless
are the things that take our breath away
things that make us ooooo and aahhhhhh
they lighten our hearts and make us smile
but is there really anything as timeless
as God who created all this beauty
that our eyes behold and our ears enjoy
beauty fades and goes away
voices crack and rasp
God's love goes on and on
all though out the ages
before man and earth existed
God was there thinking
created all to enjoy to fellowship with Him
gave us a will so we weren't puppets
Now you may think I'm a fool
to believe the way I do
but over and over I've felt His love
timeless it's always been there
Though I sin cause I'm not prefect
His love always shines through
Yes for me
God is
the only truly timeless
person, place or thing
I've felt His timeless
love, grace, and forgiveness
all through out my life
Though you may not believe
that God even exists
don't put me down because I do
too many times I've seen His work
big things and little things
He has worked through out my life
From deaths door He's brought me back
more than once at that
to little things that really don't mean much
Yes the only thing I see as really timeless
is God's love, mercy, grace and forgiveness
for they have lasted through out the ages
Author notes
Finalist
picture found http://datastore.rediff.com/images/briefcase/625864626E685D706767/hkn90nvw1su3jgn3.D0.jesus_holding_earth_world2.jpg
A contest entry
- Final Option - Finalist - Open to all by Florida Sunshine.
1150 points, ended September 7, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
My official review of your poem in the contest. Because this is a 'final' contest, I am feel I should be as strict as I can be in looking over every aspect of the poetry presented. I have never claimed to be an expert in any of the categories, however I have been learning a great deal over the last few months. Not only did I want to challenge you [the poet] but myself as a judge.
Below I've made the ruling/score in regards to the points. If you disagree with any of my reasoning please 'reply' to the comment made – with “Challenge” and explain where you feel my assessment is wrong, if I agree with your argument I will change the score. I'm never to proud to admit when I'm wrong. If I feel I am still correct I will bring in a 2nd judge to make the final decision to a change. This final judge will be through my grammar group.
Your Scores:
Finalist -- 10/10 points - Congrats for making the final option round. I'm glad you decided to submit a piece.
Use of Prompt - 25/25 Points – Timeless – God – The good book carries many through their lives, giving hope for life. I believe God will be timeless.
Poetic Form – 20/20 points – This is regards to the actual structure of the poem. It appeared to me you have written this using 'Free Verse' style. The 'free verse' uses words to impact the readers mind. In my opinion you've achieved this.
Use of Grammar - 8/10 Points – Usually when judging I prefer for poets to either use punctuation or not use it. Since you chosen to use commas, apostrophes and capitalization. I've decided this is the measure on which I would rate the grammar. I've also included usage, because it is part of grammar but not with punctuation. The 4th stanza 1st line begins with “Gods love goes on and on,” it should have an apostrophe, “God's love goes on and on” unless you mean more than one God. As it is right now it is being used in the plural sense. I did see the capitalization of “Him,” at the end of the line 5 on the 4th stanza, and the other caps when using a pronoun in reference to God. I did take this as having the capitalization for a poetic purpose and not counted against you.
Spelling - 10/10 points - Perfect!
Overall Presentation 20/25 points – The background and fonts are a beautiful compliment to the poetry you've penned. Your poem is touching, and shows how much God has influenced your life. Keep believing and penning ~ many blessing to you.
Your total score is 93
I do appreciate your participation. It was a welcome pleasure to read and review your work. I think you did a terrific job!
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
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