There was a time when everything was alright
before things started falling apart,
and I was me and
you were you.
When I was all broken inside
and you came to heal me to whole again.
The grey areas that filled my life were
counteracted by the black-and-white in which you lived yours.
I was living on the highest cloud
and then I came crashing down onto the ground.
You picked me up,
and made me go on.
I lived my life the way I pleased,
never caring, never thinking,
but you were cruising along in a meaningful way-
you were my moral compass, my second thought.
Then everything was over.
Before it could truly begin.
And I lost everything
before I even knew what I had.
There was a time
when everything was so perfectly real.
A timelessness that permeated my
every waking dream.
That was what you were- my perfect reality,
a picture of bliss, a continuum of joy.
You were there...and then you're gone.
And all that's left is an insane fantasy.
It was beautiful.
It was cathartic.
It was the most brilliant time of my life.
But I lost you.
I lost you,
and it's over now.
Over, over, over
I lost you...
I lost you,
I lost my reality.
In a list
A contest entry
- Even The Wrong Words Seem To Rhyme (opposites contest) by TechnicolorDreams.
600 points, ended September 17, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 50 songs for all you music lovers by miss-princess.
400 points, ended October 16, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heart Wrenching by ChunkyC.
950 points, ended December 23, 2008, 30 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Just Love Fantastic Titles by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended December 20, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbreak by stargardt13.
425 points, ended March 30, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I lost my reality. Now what?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
This poem was very very sad. It's such a hard experience to lose the person that makes you feel on top of the world, the person that seems to fix everything. It seems to take so long to get over. I loved the poem. Thanks for entering my contest.
-
A very indepth piece of emotions you weave here so well, wonderfully expressed, and it tugs at the heart-strings. Thanks for sharing here, and I see ya one a gold off of this at one point, congrates!
Peace, Timothy
-
This is a powerful piece, thanks for your entry
-
......This is what I've been looking for... Exactly! what I've been looking for... Oh my god.. The words... the meaning... the everything... Everything is perfect.. This is what I've always wanted to write but I just couldn't... This is exactly how I feel... It's... wow...
*The grey areas that filled my life were
counteracted by the black-and-white in which you lived yours.*
Perfect... This is so amazing.. And too amazingly true for me... Wonderful..
*I was living on the highest cloud
and then I came crashing down onto the ground.
You picked me up,
and made me go on*
Story of my life.. Story of my best friend.. My boyfriend.. My everything.. This is why I loved him so much.. Thanks...
*Then everything was over.
Before it could truly begin.*
I've spent countless nights crying over this feeling... Countless... I've cried the Pacific a million times to this idea... Oh my god... Amazing...
*You were there...and then you're gone.
And all that's left is an insane fantasy.*
And this is where I am today... A year later... And it just seems like it was some crazy fantasy that is all in my imagination... This poem is perfect... Absolutely Amazing... You will get a trophy for sure.. Possibly even Gold. I can tell you that right this instant... Amazing.. And thank you so damn much...
-
-
Thank *you* so much too- I'm glad that you could relate so fully to this poem... and I've to admit that when I wrote it, too many thoughts, feelings, and emotions were whirling through my head- there was just so many memories, ya know? I guess you do, and thank you again for your (very) kind comment.
Glad that you're better now...
-
-
I liked reading this and I;m sure that many people can relate. I liked your use of words and there was so much emotion. Good job, thanks for entering and good luck.
Take care
-
I like the imagery of the colors here:
"The grey areas that filled my life were
counteracted by the black-and-white in which you lived yours."
Thank youfor the entry.
-N -
thats so beautiful. and sad. i can definately relate to the poem. its has a beautiful flow. was that written as lyrics? thats just the way it sounds. excellent job. thank you for sharing.
-
-
Thank you for your great comment- no it was not written as lyrics, but glad that it'd make you feel that way.
-
-
great poem good luck in the contest
-
Strong, powerful, beautiful. I liked how you penned it, but for some reason, I feel that there's more to it. I don't know, such a good poem could not have ended so abruptly. Makes you think way too much. I guess, that's what so great about it, that it makes you think. Keep it up!
-
Strong emotions, but I do think you have the capability of using other words to express this better and make it go deeper
well done though
-
This is beautiful thank you for sharing!
-
I'm going to crit you keeping in mind that you want to publish your work. First, I have to say that I think you haven't staked your own ground here, by which I mean you are using common pop song ideas to express what you want, I think you have to change that. In order to do so, you must analyze the people you are writing about, what is this man really like, it isn't good just to have him be this perfect prince charming character or a hero, that is very immature. I guess that you are a teenager so have a lot of time to mature and the way you do that is by looking at more than black and white in people and stop seeing them in fairy tale mode of hero, villain etc. Use your own words your own language and be more realistic, then this poem will be publishable.
-
this is really good
"and all that's left is an insane fantasy"
i love that line
great write =
-
Then everything was over.
Before it could truly begin.
And I lost everything
before I even knew what I had.
There was a time
when everything was so perfectly real.
A timelessness that permeated my
every waking dream.
Very very nice write you have here
-
wow - very powerful
i really enjoyed this rendering of grief/lose. Very well done!
I hope you find what completes you.
-
A wonderful poem that shows all the emotion and confussion that goes on when you loose someone.
Well Done
Don
-
Beautiful!
This poem is excellent. I love the flow and the overall sense of emotion in the words.
"That was what you were- my perfect reality,
a picture of bliss, a continuum of joy.
You were there...and then you're gone.
And all that's left is an insane fantasy."
this is really unique! Many compare the guy as the dream, and without him the reality, but you compared him as your reality, and without him a fantasy. I love how you worded this. Wow! Thank you so much for entering my contest! ^_^ -
Never give up dreaming...reality, you will regain.
I love every line.
Summer51
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
