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The Last Farewell

O City of those distant days,
O City by the sea!
O City of those wondrous ways
Where once I roamed so free!

Here I was born, one summer morn,
Here once you welcomed me;
Here her I wed, my kids were born,
I lived so happily!

I made a name, and grew in fame,
Until that fateful day;
For crimes not mine, I wept in shame,
And I was sent away!

The years have flown, now all alone,
I stand here old and thin;
I've nothing left to call my own,
Except the pain within.

How oft I missed your air so fine,
Perhaps you missed me too;
Now here I stand O City mine!
And here's my last adieu!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Adamastor
    November 21
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    Good.

    You've obviously spent a lot of time reflecting on times past in your lifetime, and I assume by the content of this poem that your liftime has been long and fruitful? I meant no disrespect, I mean, you're not a 14 year old who has just broke up with their boyfriend and want to run under a train. Anyway, this is a very insightful poem, with good start, and a brilliant ending. If I wasn't new, and had plenty of points I would be able to give you the score of 3 that this poem deserves. However, I am a poor newbie, so I can only give you a score of 1 for now. Please take this comment as the REAL score. That's 3.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, now this one has a song-like quality.


  • Great Cthulhu
    December 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Well done vision in rhyme and rhythm! Thanks for playing along!


  • Faded Existence
    November 4, 2008

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    This is written very well... with great flow, and great rhyme.... Also conveying a wonderful message.


  • Legend silver member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this piece it has a musical quality that makes for easy enjoyable reading Telling a sad story in a beautiful way
    Excellent a pleasure to have read


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    September 21, 2008

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    Thank you for your entry in the final of the series of contests. An interesting poem with excellent rhyme and flow.

    All the best and please join us in any future contests we run for rhyming poetry, as we would like to read more from you.

    Sue and Jeff


  • Azgar
    September 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I agree :)

    The fourth stanza needs some editing. I'm working on it. Thanks for pointing it out


  • Lily of the Valley
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an interesting, sad and moving tale of loneliness through the years which is very easy to read due to the rhythm and rhyme. The internal rhyme adds to the over all flow of the piece and I would have liked to see it used in all stanzas rather than just the three. I wasn’t so keen on the close repetition of years and tears in stanza four but it doesn’t spoil the overall enjoyment of the poem.

1 - 8 of 8