i wana crush the world between my fists to hear his voice call my name again..
a storm he swept me off like a fallen leaf , scattered.
Crystal tears leave me feeling bare.. like fresh salt licked wounds of my past calling again... or maybe i just like to call it my past.
I missed the train again.
Counting the tracks I knew all to well.
This time I stood the same way trees die standing
Nor did you hear me calling. .a murmur.
I lost the strength to keep on trying
And if I was crying, was lost between bitter tears that fell from the skies
The skis envied my eyes so I whispered to. My secrets.
Dived within ocean waves .. to the depths of there silent dancing
So when it rains. Pours. Im off somewhere. still to the notes lost in time
swirling within the prison of your eyes
my sentence
dancing the beat of your footsteps echoing the foreshadow of my death
im dieing slowly within your veins ..withering
to hear the last breathe leave the body... like a sigh u wish u could breath back in...leaves u screaming
When mind overrides the heart
things start becoming clear again but it never stays for long.
For I am rain
lost
within
the
moon .
A contest entry
- Awesomely Sad Poems by Toxic Stardust.
475 points, ended September 1, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i watchd this aftr seeing a movie.. not all my poems are abt me LOLOL
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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well penned in heart dear one for this is sad.. a heartfelt piece penned and the words bring a clear message to heart and mind hugs always and well penned Angel♥
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it hurts to even read these words again...thinking about the person i wrote it for...
thank you tho =D
u have a heart of God..i pray all ur dreams come true
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I really enjoyed this piece... "Crystal tears leave me feeling bare" Excellent imagery. ;-) Welldone!
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thank you ! glad you liked it =D
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wow this was beautiful but honestly it made absolutely no sense to me. i liked it but unfortunately you neglected to follow the simple rules of my contest. so i shall have to DQ you. SORRY
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oh wow sad...i love the strength in the first line and the liquidness and purity of all the rest of the poem. verrrrrry cool man! <(=3 ((thats a smiling heart lol)) even though this was sad it deserves a smiling heart lol beautiful
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LOLOL
awww thanks.. glad u liked it.. yup.. ahaha life. i enjoy seeing the world thro others eyes... -
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u have very awesome eyes. i seem to see so slearly through them, and use the mto see through others so easily. does that make sense? lol it did in my brain. oh! and i forgot to add that i love this line so much:
or I am rain
lost
within
the
moon .
so pretty -
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lolol yes that made complt sense in my mind as well.. =P ahaha i guess we think alike..
thanks ! ur much to sweet.. well the last line
am rain
lost
within
the
moon .
that really is me /.. excpt i kinda mixed this up a little here and thr .. and im not imprisnd in anyones eyes =D .. yet i tihnk i just might be falling for someone.. hmm anyways.. love ya much .. smile !
p.s and im like mad about ur hair !! i dyed my hair that color once temperarly .. amesome ! -
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lol great minds think alike. thats such a great metaphor. <3
ps lol yay! its a good temprorary color cuz it fades out cool too ^_^ -
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LOLOL well said ;)
hehe now u got me craving to do somethn crazy like that ahaha -
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lol yay!!
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good
I like this, there's a lot of power. I did notice some spelling errors, but other than that I really enjoyed it. Good Luck!
Much Love and Keep Writing,
-Alicia Lynn
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thank you.. yah sorry about the spelling errors i usually write it at the spur of the moment and dont review it much..
hmm i've had writers block for sometime.. hopefully i'll get to writing again soon
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Some really good use of imagery here. I particulaly like "prison of your eyes"- awesome- and "dancing the beat of your footsteps echoing the foreshadow of my death"- powerful-.
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thank you.. glad you liked it =D
p.s sorry but what does ur profile picture say if i can ask that is
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