My dear, I’m afraid you’re in terrible danger
See, a friend of mine is seeking your death
She’s been watching you constantly for so many years
In the shadows, she has followed you with black baited breath.
My dear, I’m afraid negotiation would fail
See, she has no real motive for wanting you killed
Unfortunately for you, she is now sick of waiting
A brain cell has snapped and the gun has been filled.
My dear, I’m afraid that your house is not safe
See, she’s coming for you – she’ll be there before dark
But there’s no place in the world that could protect you from her;
She’s impossible to stop, like a blood-frenzied shark.
My dear, I’m afraid that you cannot escape
See, she sees in your mind – she can read every thought
She can get to you no matter where you run to
If you play Cat-And-Mouse, you will only get caught.
My dear, I’m afraid that there’ll be lots of pain
See, she’s far too psychotic for a ‘quick and pain-free’
She’s thirsting to watch the blood pour from your wounds
She yearns to hear screams and cries of ‘help me’.
My dear, I’m afraid your tears will fall like rain
See, she’ll cut you and burn you, but she won’t let you die
The torture will endure for as long as she likes
She’ll keep saying ‘almost done’, but every word is a lie.
My dear, I’m afraid that you’ve lost this last game
See, this was a challenge to test if you’re smart
If you had figured out whom the murderer is,
She’d have spared you the fatal stab to your heart.
My dear, I’m afraid you’re the one who’s to blame;
See, I thought I made it obvious, I gave you every clue
Every time we were together, I was trying to save you
I had hoped you would survive, but now it’s too late,
Now you know that the killer is you.











15 old applause
