Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Killer

Missing image

My dear, I’m afraid you’re in terrible danger

See, a friend of mine is seeking your death

She’s been watching you constantly for so many years

In the shadows, she has followed you with black baited breath.

 

My dear, I’m afraid negotiation would fail

See, she has no real motive for wanting you killed

Unfortunately for you, she is now sick of waiting

A brain cell has snapped and the gun has been filled.

 

My dear, I’m afraid that your house is not safe

See, she’s coming for you – she’ll be there before dark

But there’s no place in the world that could protect you from her;

She’s impossible to stop, like a blood-frenzied shark.

 

My dear, I’m afraid that you cannot escape

See, she sees in your mind – she can read every thought

She can get to you no matter where you run to

If you play Cat-And-Mouse, you will only get caught.
 

  

My dear, I’m afraid that there’ll be lots of pain

See, she’s far too psychotic for a ‘quick and pain-free’

She’s thirsting to watch the blood pour from your wounds

She yearns to hear screams and cries of ‘help me’.
 

My dear, I’m afraid your tears will fall like rain

See, she’ll cut you and burn you, but she won’t let you die

The torture will endure for as long as she likes

She’ll keep saying ‘almost done’, but every word is a lie.

 

My dear, I’m afraid that you’ve lost this last game

See, this was a challenge to test if you’re smart

If you had figured out whom the murderer is,

She’d have spared you the fatal stab to your heart.

 

My dear, I’m afraid you’re the one who’s to blame;

See, I thought I made it obvious, I gave you every clue

Every time we were together, I was trying to save you

I had hoped you would survive, but now it’s too late,

Now you know that the killer is you.

Author notes

 Dani is the essence of awesome.

=) 

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • misterfish
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! This is the best poem out of this contest so far. That is so awesome. You should be so proud. Your poem is exactly what I was looking for. Well done. Thank you so much for entering and good luck!


    • KyleBerg gold member
      November 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am proud now =)
      Glad you enjoyed it!
      Thanks


  • Shya
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... the ending was such a surprise, and it turns out that she was hurting herself all along. It really does fit too, with the girl cutting herself and saying, "Almost done", or "this is the last time", but "every word is a lie". A great write... thanks for entering. shya


    • KyleBerg gold member
      October 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for taking the time to comment!
      I'm glad you enjoyed the twist


  • Symphony
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow; chilling - and certainly not what I was expecting in this ... and at the end - that the killer was actually her all along - how on earth do you come up with these twists

    • KyleBerg gold member
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      where do i come up with my twists?
      for the most part, my mind automatically reverts to suicidal endings for poem, so when i thought about writing a poem about a killer/stalker it made sense for it to turn out this way

      It probably says something bad about my personality, but oh well

      Thanks for another wonderful comment, i really appreciate them


  • LadyJane13
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Dark,harrowing...love it,give me more


    • KyleBerg gold member
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks m'Lady
      Comment and applause is muchly appreciated


  • HereComesTheSun
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this was a great poem the story told the twist the end i read twice to look at the clues you showed
    this deserves a medal, great poem

    • KyleBerg gold member
      September 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ohh thank you for your wonderful comment, and thank you especially for the bronze (my third trophy!! )

      I appreciate it muchly, and i'm glad you liked the twist


  • November-Dani
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'She’s thirsting to watch the blood pour from your wounds'
    Thats my favourite part. Ah, i do realy love gore.
    Great work!
    Dani.

    • KyleBerg gold member
      September 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Oh, I'm glad you liked that part i was actually hesitant to make it that graphic,, the image creeps me out so i wasn't sure how readers would react

      Thanks for another insightful comment


  • WillYouSayJeepers
    September 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Just wow

  • panic-tiger-is-here
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I understand the ending perfectly but I still have one question: Where did you get the inspiration for this? Its really good its really well written and the second to last paragraph gets the reader thinking. In short its Awsome like your others. Good Work!!

  • Loves HER Master
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow hun. i love it.
    i like the repetition of 'my dear'
    i also love the ironic twist of the killers.
    Really well done, lovely write.


  • Lencio Rodrigues
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully Dark... lot of suspense!

    It is certainly a work of art and your talent in fabulous! I am glad to discover another great writer in here and so young. I like the way every verse starts with a similar start.

    Reading the last line, it seems to me that the killer is the inner self of the person, inner person of your friend which your friend puts up a deaf ear when you are cautioning. This one is full of suspense and thrilling. Good job!

    Love and light,
    Lencio

1 - 16 of 16