the air is thick;
memory laden with
an extra dose of bitterness.
home is not where
drywall cracks like
broken hearts in december,
& you never believed me
when i told you
it was all gray from here.
this is the first sign of pestilence.
there is no white horse,
only the collective gasp
of the world holding its breath.
Author notes
8/100
In a list
A contest entry
- Free Verse Frenzy (Prewites Only) by poetryality.
925 points, ended November 3, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - haven't been here for 3 months but I have 4,000+ points by Nam.
4075 points, ended October 15, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your darkest of dark poetry. by Chelse-Oh.
950 points, ended November 21, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Apocalypse by Cali.
400 points, ended December 16, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Erm... tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Excellent!
Powerful piece You have penned and Love the metaphors used also the weaving of words
Bravo!!
Message gives much much to think about~
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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"there is no white horse,
only the collective gasp
of the world holding its breath."
My favorite lines out of the whole piece. Beautiful. Great job. good luck.
-
I agree, you can scratch the A/N. The poem has a flow that sparks in intensity. There is a prophetic "air" to these words, spilled form heart with mix of wisdom. You've done well poet. Never shortchange your thoughts. Thank you for this entry, and I wish you well in this challenge.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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power
=/ dont mean to be rude.. but your author note.. here completely distroyed your fucking amazing poem. I like to think that a poem should be left for the reader to think about.. not directed in one place.. because it could go so many other places.. if that makes sense... good poem, I loved it.. -
oohhhhh, i like this, hehe very mysterious ending, *hugs*
keep the writing
Stephanie ♥ -
Amazing
This... is amazing dear. The title fits in an abstract way, didn't know what I was getting myself into XP
The imagery in this poem is lovely; subtle yet vivid. You're not over saturating it with description, yet the reader can still imagine the scene.
this is the first sign of pestilence.
there is no white horse,
only the collective gasp
of the world holding its breath.
Beautifully written.
Adding your comment:
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