I was teetering on the end of life and wit,
still wondering what to make of all of it.
My life a constant stream of mistakes,
through the eyes of the one raising the stakes.
When I was almost ready to give into the rain,
I saw an old man in this storm with an hourglass thin,
who said, wearing a cloak that shrouded his face:
"I can take you to any time or place;
you can even fix things, like a time machine
taking you back to intervene."
I saw many a time, as I reflected on my past,
that I wanted to fix...life-tests I never passed.
I couldn't pass up that offer of his,
and I answered with tears streaming at the blinks of my lids:
"I wither in this circumstance;
all I ask is one last chance."
I went back to my attempts at all my love life's,
to all of my family's previous strifes;
I went to every time I ever was sad,
and every time that I made someone mad.
There were many headaches I felt were self-inflicted,
so I went to them all, to no longer be afflicted.
Every trip back in time yielded the same end...
I failed every time, again and again.
When I returned to the present, I sat there in shame;
My spirit was shattered, my chances spent in vain...
With what little strength I had left, I looked up at him:
the old man, dehooded, with tears at the brim,
staring at me with those radiant blue eyes
saddened with me in his sageful guise.
He reached toward me in a friendly, caring embrace,
speaking while being the sole thing that held me in place.
"When you try to fix a seemingly simple mistake,
sometimes you need more than one take.
Even if you had infinite tries, however,
the same choice would be the one you make forever.
For at that point in time, you did what you thought was best.
Nothing can change that - no rethought or second-guess.
Your chivalrous ideals have gotten you far in this life,
but despite it all, there will still be strife.
Not all can be avoided, no matter how hard you try;
sometimes it is best just to have...a good cry."
I asborbed the advice that he gave
as I sat there confused as to how to behave,
and although I still felt the comforting embrace,
the old man was gone, not a sound or trace.
As I stood in the rain, I was still contemplating
when a rainbow-like tear fell into a watery ring;
I looked at my reflection where the chromatic tear fell,
and saw the old man staring back through the well.
As he looked at me, he nodded his head,
and his eyes shone radiantly as he said:
"Remembering roots, using thought, and following heart,
continue making these choices - it's what you've been taught.
You know what's right - but it's what you decide
in that ever-thrashing current of your life's tide.
Tears of pain and sorrow will find their healing rays;
the one you need will be right there...always.
Tie the ends of your heartstrings carefully,
and you can always follow them to return to where you should be.
"There is one thing left for you to remember...
I love you, my son...make a wildfire from my embers."
Tearstained slabs of memory-filled reflections
cover the road I travel, displaying my complexions.
May I never forget that wisdom which shakes me to the core...
for in the end, it makes life worth living, and the battle worth fighting for.
Author notes
I had to get this out of my head, 'cause it's been sitting there for quite a while. I cried while I wrote this...I don't know why exactly. It struck a very sensitive chord, I suppose. I felt more passionate about this one than I did with The Ocean of Life...or, if nothing else, a very similar feeling.
Anyway, hope you enjoy. ^.^
A contest entry
- Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewritten poems by Blue-Rose Beauty.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
If you deem this work worthy of one, please leave a comment.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Wow, I think that was amazing. Great points and I love all the rhymes.
Favorite lines: "When you try to fix a seemingly simple mistake,
sometimes you need more than one take.
and..
Not all can be avoided, no matter how hard you try;
sometimes it is best just to have...a good cry."
Needs improvement: The second guy coming in was a bit confusing.
Great write!
Overall score: 10
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Thank you for liking it so much! ^_^ The old man representing the narrator's father needed to be there...I just couldn't come up with a dramatic way to bring him into the picture at the time. The hourglass was supposed to represent the passage of time, and sort of showing an older figure. Again, thanks for enjoying.
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What a beautifully tragic inspired poem; I loved the trip to the past, gazing back over all of our regrets and life experiences; the things we wish we could change -
and that closing line was SO powerful,
"May I never forget that wisdom which shakes me to the core...
for in the end, it makes life worth living, and the battle worth fighting for."
Love it! thanks for entering -
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Thanks so much for enjoying it! ^_^
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well, I must say, it's amazing.
then again, you're an amazing poet, so what else was I expecting? -
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Thank you. ^_^
It's easy to say the same to you - for you are also an amazing poet. ^.^
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wow
you captured the essence of our longing to change the things that have been past perfectly. and even though we wish we could its better to except then to sit with regret. this was an amazing poem. and very inspiring.
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Thank you! Glad I could inspire you. ^_^
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I can't believe I just now stumbled across this. Anyway, wow... This was amazing. I am left speechless, I truly am. This really hit a chord with me as well, and with a lot of people I'm sure.
We all wish for second chances to fix our mistakes, but we never realize that most important thing. When you made the choice it was what you wanted and what you thought was best. We just remember the fact it didn't work out right.
There is so much to be said about this, but I'll stop rambling now. I wish AP allowed more clappys!
ect.
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Why stop!? Rambling is sooo much fun to listen to and do!
^_^
This thought runs through my head much too often...but I really appreciate the comment. I'm glad you liked it. ^.^ -
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Very very true.
Very muchly so.
No problem. It was awesomeness and worth reading.
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Thanks.
=)
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Welcome.
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Wow... what a story to tell!
This was epic in proportions (not the length, necessarily, but the message, wisdom, and emotions).
Reminded me of "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" in parts, but was so much better!
I love it. I absolutely love it. A true masterpiece - this is your best work yet!
To me, it seems like the dawning of a new age for you - a new age of realization, of wisdom, of self-control, and of writing...
A few things you may want to keep in mind:
* watch your tenses - you switched back and forth a bit, for instance:
"He reaches towards me" - earlier in that stanza you had "sat" and other past-tense verbage.
In the next stanza, you revert to past tense again - but later on, back to present.
I recommend keeping it all past tense for this one.
Great write! I'm still humbly stunned.
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Yeah, those tense problems are probably the result of the condition I was in whilst writing this. I'll fix 'em. ^.^
Glad you liked it!
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... Note the speechlessness
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