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I can't smile anymore

She spit her criticism like
yesterdays cereal.
And I meant to let it drip off me,
milky accusation,
but I cant smile anymore.

He came to wipe his muddy
insecurities off on my shirt.
And I meant to wear it like a good girl
but I cant smile anymore

The dishes pile, the baby screams,
duties mount, complaints rush in.
And I try so hard to make you all love me.

But the filters in my soul have gone to grey
and I cant smile anymore.

Author notes

Dedicated to Rachael. Inspired by "I cant smile anymore" by Kira1115

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    September 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...is your sister in a kind of situation like this??? If she is she really should get some time for herself...to live, to laugh...and well maybe she will be feeling a lot happier than.....

    If she needs a babysitter...I am available
    XXJeannette


  • kira1115
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very lovely. I love how you balanced the somber tone of the poem with a bright background. (*pokes all of my doom and gloom poems and backgrounds.*) Thanks for entering!


  • zt
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Again, I am impressed by your abilities. I love the metaphors you've crafted ("milky accusation" & "muddy insecurities"). This is such a sad poem and I'm very glad it is not what you are going through, though it is told with a "been there" feeling. Best of luck in the contest!


    • Sarah957
      September 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you zt! Fine, I admit it, I've been there!


  • wattle silver member
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohwww you can smile. Smiling acts like a mirror. Unless you do it yourself you won't see any. But that's not important, good poetry is. Thank you.


    • Sarah957
      September 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wattle,
      Its not about me, its inspired by a propt and dedicated to my sister =)


  • Huntress silver member
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have a lot of days like this, i like the line the filters in my soul have gone to grey. That really speaks to me well done


  • Bosiarbooger gold member
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well it seems like a beer and shot day. Truely it's happened to all of us a rotten day where everyone kicks you at the same time. As Rodney said I don't get any respect. Funny how reading this brought back a few bad memories. Some days it's better to stay in bed. Great write you made me feel and I am sure that was the point.

1 - 8 of 8