She smelled like raspberry flavored vodka
mixed with her cherry berry lip bam.
I never thought I could have these feelings
for my single sex
but I figure it must be the Henessy talking
or I really might of jumped the fence.
She was tall, a bottle blond.
The edges of her hair were slightly brown
and the tips were an orange yellow.
She seemed to be swaying, back and forth
as though she's dancing
like no ones watching.
Two drinks, two shots, and some margaritas
I can see why this girl is fired up.
Damn; she catches me staring
so she slides herself over to get a better view.
She smiles, winks, and introduces herself.
The goddess name is Sally.
She then asks for my name
"It's Tracy", I acclaim.
We then sit there for awhile
we converse, we chat, and complimented each other
but the conversation leads to no where.
We just talk about the weather and the color of my shoes.
But then she dazzles me with her smile
She flicks her hair around
and suddenly she's all over me
her tongue is in my mouth.
-wet-
Her hand is on my chest
slowly feeling up and down
bringing tingles down my spine.
I don't know how much time went by
as we were locked in romping passion
of drunken frat girls
bi-curious first kiss.
All I know is I liked it
even if I was kissing a girl.
Author notes
I was inspired by the massive radio and MTV hit, (yes I occasionally turn on the radio and the MTV just to see what the kids or listening too...and sometimes I'm surprised 
) "I Kissed A Girl" by Kate Perry.
Now I am not here to bash people's lifestyles: I don't care if you are gay, straight, bi, or undecided. But this song is soooooo boring. Yes she's talking about kissing another girl, and it can be excited experience for some, BUT the lyrics are pretty mundane and well repetitive. She could of done so much more with the song, lyrically wise. She has a pretty nice voice and it's a shame when good singers, sing crappily written songs.
Sooo, this piece inspired by the song. My spin or improvement on the lyrics, if it was a poem.
Enjoy.
p.s If I've pissed anyone off...then I did my job.
Any advice would be lovely?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
wow, that was really good! i knew, right when i read the first few lines, that you were thinking of the song "I kissed a girl" when you wrote it! i love that song! =)yes, i do have to admit she couldve done more with that song, though. i love your poem as well! my favorite stanza was the last one! =) hugglez!
-adria
-
I like the imagery here. You described the actual act of kissing so well. Til you said it was two girls kissing I wasn't aware of that. It could have been any two people kissing. Great write here.
-
hahahahahahaha horrible song amazing poem
-
-
thank you! I though i was the only one who hated the song!!!!
-
-
I dont have a clue what the original song sounds like, you have one up on me i never watch MTV. Why did you say at the end "even if i was kissing a fool"? Because from what i see there is nothing before it leading up to your character thinking anything but positive of the other girl. Anyways,you asked for advice and mine would be that if you use that at the end you might want to make some other indication somewhere in the poem of why the other girl is a fool. Take it or leave it, this is only my perspective of course.
The thing i liked most was that you tell a good story. You are good at keeping reader interest. -
-
Thank you so much for commenting and for the advice.
Reading over the piece, I can see where the end could make no sense, "Kissing a Fool". I was playing around with different endings and titles so it could make sense. Maybe at end I could just be blunt and say I was "kissing a girl". I don't know it sounds a little cliche but I guess it sounds a little bit better if I was more straightforward.
Thank you so much, again for pointing that out. As for the song; it's not the greatest song writter lol
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
