Slowly injecting the heroin:
Needle slowly sliding deep into the system,
Pushing down slowly relaxing.
The world starts to spin,
Your nightmares coming true.
Paranoia starts kicking in,
Rocking back and forth.
Fear shining bright.
Hair messy and tangled,
You wonder where you are.
As you look in the mirror you see your reflection,
Lips slowly chipping off slightly peeling.
You want to scream but nothing escapes.
You start to see the shadows dance,
Red eyes gleaming in the dark.
A nightmare becoming true,
You start to realize your eyes are different colors.
Face distorted.
You lock your self away from everyone,
Wondering when you'll wake up.
But the pain from the scar hasn't healed and it's just starting,
You get startled as someone comes into your room and opens the door.
Holding onto your only weapon,
A dagger.
The oak door creaks:
And you stare wondering what this monster wants,
As darkness starts to aggressively kiss.
Nipping your lower lip Sucking on your tongue,
Pinning you into the closet.
You want to stab this creature,
As you push it away you realize the walls are crumbled .
As the flame ignites coursing through,
You desire more.
Not caring what's going on,
The craving is stronger then anything ever before.
You look down wondering what happen to your clothes as the fabric is ripped,
You don't care your in a different realm,
A place you want to stay longer.
You continue the fire,
Not knowing what's actually happening outside this world.
You continue to be more aggressive,
Becoming untamed.
As the red turns to blue things dying down,
You wondering why your body aches.
And the world you once entered abandoned you.
Bella Knoll
8:46pm 8/31/08
Author notes
Option: Drugs
A contest entry
- ** Deep Options to Meet some Great Poets!** by City-of-Angels.
500 points, ended September 14, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything – and something specific! by Beating.
425 points, ended September 3, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Free Verse by Lithium n lollipops.
750 points, ended January 1, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - deal with it by Rae2732.
420 points, ended June 25, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
The oak door creaks:
And you stare wondering what this monster wants,
This poem is awesome. amazing imagery. Well written. what more can i say?
thankyou for entering.
love lithuim
-
Well, I liked how you portrayed the illusion and confusion that can be found through drugs, and that you didn't do it in the typical preaching "drug is bad" way. Good job!
-
Ah yes, many brilliant/crazy people are under the influence of drugs, People close to me describe some drugs to be "mind openers". (then again they were talking about weed and LSD, I dunno about heroin, don't know anybody that's tried that) Sounds pretty scary though. Although there's a few people around me that experiment with drugs, this kinda makes me not want to try any.
I'm sooo happy you entered this, I really wanted an entry on option 5 and before yours there was none. I needed some variety
Anyway..your visuals were great here, I could see this happening, which was slightly scary. You've made me curious about the song you were listening to, so I'll probably listen to it when I get some of these other damn entries read
Thanks for entering and good luck
-
Wow. I really love the detail of your descriptions. It gave me chills. I also like how this (as well as many of your poems)reads kind of like a story. It's an interesting style, and you pulled it off beautifully.
The line breaks are a bit odd, but I think that works well in this piece.
There were just a few teensy things that i noticed.
In "As darkness starts to aggressive kiss" it should be "aggressively" I think. Also, "As push it away you realize the walls are crumbled" should be "As you push..." But those are just typos.
One other thing is that you use "slowly"to describe what's happening in both of the first two lines. It's a matter of personal preference really, but I'd recommend picking a different word for one of the two.
This is a great write. I love seeing how your work improves more and more with each new piece.
-
-
Thank you so much for the corrections and what you think. I also agree both of our work improves.
-
-
No problem.
I really enjoyed reading it.
I think you're right, it does. Which I guess is part of the idea. Maybe.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
