You lay there next to me,
my lady of the lake.
Your sweat is still steaming.
I lay here bright awake,
your smile say you're dreaming.
You lay there next to me,
my goddess of the sea.
Your breath still abated.
I can but guarantee
your dreams are x-rated.
You lay there next to me,
my princess of the blue.
Your heart is still pounding.
I want to say to you,
you're simply astounding.
You lay there next to me,
my mermaid of the deep.
Your afterglow lingers.
I cherish while you sleep
your curves with my fingers.
© Jim T. Henriksen,
August 31st, 2008.
Author notes
To me, nothing is more arousing than the second foreplay after the first act of love is completed, when I can admire the sleeping beauty next to me, and I know that she is waiting to be awaken by a kiss of her prince of her dreams...
This poem is written in a version of the Monchielle form, it follows the normal rules, but also rhymes lines two and four.
In a list
- Contest poems • next in list
- My poetry list • next in list
- Adult poems • next in list
- Monchielle • next in list
A contest entry
- Adult Contest 18 + ONLY, Bring the heat and wet my seat, If you think you can do it. by PassionsPromise.
1050 points, ended October 14, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MEN ONLY, TURN ME ON! PW's Take me on a fantasy date. PWs 820 Pts by broken spirits.
700 points, ended September 4, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sex me up baby by Dezzy26.
400 points, ended August 12, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Jim its amazing!
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Thanks for the comment and the applauses, Victor!
Jim
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This was beautiful, thankyou for your entry.
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Thank you!
I hope to win your contest, Dezzy! Thanks for the comment. Jim
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Well your story did turn her on
and got you a well deserved bronze.
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Thanks,
a bronze trophy is great, it shows I still got my muse.
Thanks for the comment, and for the applauses!
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Great rhyme, and I liked the story line. YAY!
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Thanks, rissah!
I appreciate your comment, and your applause! Crossing my fingers to win.
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A piece to cherish!
Hi! I remember the couple of time I wrote a Monchielle, its never been easy, but the flow here is perfect and effortless - flow and rhyme. My favourite line (and that made me grin!) - "your dreams are x-rated!" lol!!! All in all, a great piece that one can actually visualise the moments of the happening.
Good luck in the contest!
Love and light,
Lencio
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Thank you!
Well, I don't think writing in this style is easy, but not harder than other styles, like Lento. Now THAT is hard! I like that line too, took me a while to find the right words. The last stanza also caused me some problems, but a single rhyme couplet like lingers and fingers, simply had to be used... And, since I can not add pictures anymore (no gold membership), I have to paint the pictures with words instead. 
Thanks for the comment, and the applause, my friend!
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Excellent esp in smoothness you hit all the nails
with this one Excellent Job!!!!!!
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Thanks!
Allthough, hitting all the nails sounds kind of painful.
I appreciate your comment, and your applauses!
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great job! beautifuly put! thanx for entering and good luck!
*hugs* tay. -
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Thanks Tay! I appreciate it a lot!
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aw this is
beautifully penned, the passion surely follows the rules of the contest, lovely emotions, thank you for sharing , good luck
Linda
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Thanks, Linda!
Your comment means a lot to me when I write something. Thanks for the applause too, I appreciate it a lot!
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Nice work. The last stanza is particularly beautiful, paints a lovely image.
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Thank you, In a Word! Your comment means a lot to me.
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I loved this
Indeed nothing beats the follow up party lol
Wonderfully done and I loved how you set up the author notes. Impressive all the way around.
best of luck to you
Passions
Score:9
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Thank you
for hosting this contest. I decided to wait till it was over to reply to your comment, to maintain the secret identity of the author. I'm ofcourse sad for not winning anything, but I am glad you liked it. Ah, well... can't win 'em all. 
Jim
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