i am one grape
in endless vineyards,
one footprint
on a lonely mountainside
one set of bones
spread for your pleasure
on the bed of the wind
a sob of heaven:
moonlight’s wicked grin upon the water,
sunlight waiting for the tongue
absolved of all my dark and
devious escapes,
i hunger to be blessed
at season’s end
i am song
i stand
like a voyeur
at the window of your writhing soul
and listen to your heart composing me
Author notes
Contest Prompt: “Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life.
Ludwig van Beethoven
In a list
A contest entry
- music: poetry of the air by Nicolette.
1500 points, ended September 7, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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to music...
who wouldn't want to hear that?
wonderful to read -
I can certainly see why gold adorns this marvel. Gripping with its intensity, I was held to the last line, where such soft composition melted me.
Wonderful to read and enjoy - as always. ~Pamela
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this is an absolutely gorgeous poem
congrats on the gold -
"i am song
i stand
like a voyeur
at the window of your writhing soul
and listen to your heart composing me"
thanks for the pleasure of reading this
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Just to let you know, I am in love with the last line of the poem. SWOON! Epic poetry
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Superb plus
A very fine write, indeed. You expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. -
Oh great! I love the metaphors, it projects the feeling in the poem. Xds-gX
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Really beautiful poetry and it compliments the Beethoven quote perfectly as this poem does speak to the spiritual and the sensual in such an understated and elegant way. yet, there is an underlying intensity here but you've camouflaged it so very well and let it slowly rise to the surface. I loved the images of grapes here...made me think of a harvest... The closing lines are beautiful. I was just wondering about the word "writhing"...somehow it didn't felt "right" there but that is just a personal preference, lol. Other than that, truly excellent poetry that just pulls the reader in. Beautiful - thank you for sharing it with us in the contest.
~ Nicolette
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wow
i love this poem, such emotion and power in the words.. and a sense of longing!
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Wonderful!
This is straight and true - great examples of singularity - love the way the singular begins to pluralize at the end.
This reminds me why there is poetry.
Congratulations. And good luck in the contest.
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Lovely.
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Absolutely beautiful. A great write with powerful imagery anf great flow. A Pleasure to read.
Nevadapoet
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This is very well done. It is a pleasure to read.
Mike
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The prompt from which you wrote this poem has long been a favorite quote of mine. You conveyed this perfectly in a poem rich with interesting images and beautiful language. I love this poem, and the ending is so beautiful.
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so true... genuineness and sincerity and "song" I believe come from the "soul" "heart" yet it's cool, because heart just sounds 'happier', This poem I felt was expressed beautifully and completely. ttm ♫
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Very unique and highly conceptualized! This is a gem!
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And this rhapsody didn't win a bean in the contest? There ain't no justice my friend. Beautiful, deep, real and touches us all I think.
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From one grumpy old Englishman to another: thanks for your kind comments.
As for justice... well, it's just a point of view. lol!
As long as you enjoyed the poem, that's enough for me.
Best, p
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Excellent work... just wonderful. One of the best I've read in this contest.
"i stand
like a voyeur
at the window of your writhing soul
and listen to your heart composing me"
Ah! How beautiful, that line! But I'd take out the second "the" in L7 and the "the" in L9 too. It'd seem much more heavenly without the filler words.
Other than that, divine work.
- Namita
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Tutta Bella
This was so spiritual... I really drifted into a distant world...
Reminds me of the Shakespherian world...
Uno Write
Lo-Amo
Salute! -
Hey this is very well written. I like the beginning very much... you saying that you are one grape in an endless vineyard. This is very well written and I love the picture that your imagery brings about. Good job and a good read. Thanks for sharing
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..."isten to your heart composing me"
What strikes me most about this poem is the incredible ending. This type of writing transcends the ordinary, and is only brought to life with the aid of a muse. -
Wonderful flow to these lines, visual and with feeling. Liked this interpretation of the poem' contest's prompt. Fitting title and lovely lines that go with it. Really an expressive peice of poetry.
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Wow this poem is amazing! Your metaphors are beautiful and the ending is great. My favorite lines are...
one set of bones
spread for your pleasure
on the bed of the wind
...the image and message are wonderful. Great job!!!
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for over two years I have been reading your work, and I am STILL in awe of the poetry you create. The lines I felt the most strongly: "i stand like a voyeur at the window of your writhing soul and listen to your heart composing me..." Can I breathe now?
Love, Lane
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for over two years I have been reading your work, and I am STILL in awe of the poetry you create. The lines I felt the most strongly: "i stand like a voyeur at the window of your writhing soul and listen to your heart composing me..." Can I breathe now?
Love, Lane
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"i am song
i stand
like a voyeur
at the window of your writhing soul
and listen to your heart composing me"*sobs dramatically* lol
Ohhh, dear me...what an exquisite piece of writing this is, my Friend. Sheesh.
I needn't even wish you luck; you have pure talent & heart to rely upon. Wowzer.
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very beatiful poem, their was excellent flow, a nice rythem, it was worded masterfully, but i didnt really catch where you were trying to go with this, what message you were trying to send maybe you can help me out. but overall a very solid write.
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