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Poser

He poses as a poet
every Tuesday and Thursday
hidden behind the coffee shadows
of late afternoon -
I am hidden, too, and watch
how his thumb slowly slides
up the thigh of a Bic pen,
how the smirk spreads when
the reader on stage seems to
pluck her poetry
from an invisible rose garden
above our heads -
I wait for him to knock her down,
to lift her skirt up over her face
silly silly girl!
What do you know of poetry?
to tear us to shreds
with razor-laced words
while we bleed
in fountains of admiration,
but he stays put, stays silent

in the corner quiet,

and my expectations of brilliance
remain folded and faded,

deep in the pocket

of his tattered tweed coat.


In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 55 of 55

  • zappa gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    someone once told me (another poet) -that the one thing everyone should be cautious of and stay away from, especially when it comes to love "A poet."
    I don't know, however. What would we be if we had no passion like that of a story teller, artist or poet? We'd all be dead inside. /not even worth the paper we were written upon.


  • notorious gold member
    November 30, 2008
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    I love this poem more than myself;


  • sheltered
    October 29, 2008

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    you might very well be my favorite poet
    you always bring so much reality to the table
    imagery that is clicheless
    and definitely the most passionate i've ever read
    i am always left feeling like a cd in the sun


  • notorious gold member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my god I was looking all over your page for this poem!!!

    Somehow my bookmark got removed.

    Anywho, a LOT of your poems are finding ways into my "EXCEPTIONAL poems by others" list.


  • penman gold member
    September 14, 2008
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    Excellent

    Such a wonderful creation. So very well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Sesheta
    September 9, 2008
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    You never cease to awe.


  • echo-ink
    September 7, 2008
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    This blew my mind away~~~~

    Awesome, Bell, xx


  • thepoetssoul
    September 7, 2008

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    Well I must say this is a most amazingly thought out piece of written poetryI find the expectations of brilliance are nothing more than a kick in the face to humor one self.Wickedly smart and very thought provoking,I probably took a different twist on words.Which you did not intend most likely,but it is my contest by the wayStunning I really enjoyed reading your work.Thanks for the entry and best of wishes to you.

    Tony


  • zochit2me gold member
    September 7, 2008

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    Well to parrot everyone else that has read this...
    You have great insight of people places and things
    I really like the "long ass stanza" as J put it...lol

    Once again Lane your voice stands strong with both feet planted firm
    (bare feet I would imagine)...

    ♥Becky♥


  • no longer a member
    September 4, 2008
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    An interesting poem of expectations and realizations. I liked this. ~Bramble


  • Azgar
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nothing left to say


  • Balldinger silver member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    staples; rain slickers; fashion glancing; radiation suspension; top-walled scholars; tipping back in passion variations. "knock her down" - my favorite line beside the one about strawberry lipstick that you left out. way to go...

  • silverfish
    September 2, 2008

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    a simple fish, i like it when people draw me a picture, which you have done very well as usual with this poem. so you will understand when i say that the best image i come away with is of 'you' on stage signing your poems for the viewers, 'the reader on stage seems to/
    pluck her poetry/
    from an invisible rose garden . . .' -thumbsupfish


    • Dalaney gold member
      September 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      to my fish ~ re your "pet peeve" I thank you for pointing it out to me (Dear Professor) - that's what I get for writing when sleepy Do you realize how much I look forward to your comments? Probably not, but I do. I most certainly do. Love, Lane aka Tickler of Fish


  • nevadapoet
    September 2, 2008
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    A great write with perfect imagery...a pleasure to read.
    Nevadapoet


    • Dalaney gold member
      September 2, 2008
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      Thank you SO much for reading so many of my poems and for giving me such wonderful comments. I appreciate every word. Love, Lane


  • masterblaster gold member
    September 2, 2008

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    Hi, There are a few that fit your description perfectly here on AP, good write enjoyed it a lot, kind regards Di


    • Dalaney gold member
      September 2, 2008
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      Wow...it's great to see you here! Thanks for the comment and the chuckle Love, Lane


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    September 1, 2008

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    OK, each time I read you, I think I have found the poem that is just you, that holds all of you in it, thought I found it 20 poems ago but there is more than meets the eye, you are the epitome of the perfect poet. Best to you. Another for my bookmarks


  • notorious gold member
    September 1, 2008
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    One of my favorites of yours

    but honestly, everything you write is magical.
    I feel like everything I've read today is something that makes me want to bookmark...& I will be bookmarking this one Lane.

    Usually, poems that are just one long ass stanza discourage me from reading, but nothing could ever discourage me from reading your stuff...as you know, since I've crept into your "Adult" poems too--LMAO!! But...I think the one stanza thing works really well here.

    To echo what Meg said below (I'm just finding everybody else has said what I wanted to!!)...the way you observe are "so very exceptional"...!!!!!!!!!

    Honestly, after reading this, I felt like I'd seen the guy too, LoL.

    Those first 4 lines...I LOVE to death!! I love the way you used the word 'poses' & "coffee shadows" is just gorgeously caffeinated (haha).

    Everybody loves the personification of the Bic pen...& I'm a believer too...hahahahaha. That was genius.

    The imagery with the invisible rose garden actually made me think of abstract poetry--but not in the way I know you hate...haha. More like in an ambiguous way that leaves the reader to come up with their own phantasyintriguing interpretation--are you talking about love, which would be the obvious thought? ...or something else...

    "expectations of brilliance"
    This could not be rewritten.
    This is how I feel about YOUR poems.
    I love that. Love that. Love that. Love that.

    The alliteration in the last three lines...I rather enjoyed it. I disagree with Cat (although her critique is usually right ) about the 'tattered' & 'tweed' thing...I mean, it's obvious to me practically everything you write has happened to you before, & I don't believe you would've chosen both those adjectives if you hadn't actually seen the coat like that.

    Not that my opinion is right, but I believe it.
    &...you are brilliant.

    Bookmarking.

    Jessica


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    September 1, 2008

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    Good stuff.
    As usual, this poem is interesting.
    You seem to be able to write interesting poems.
    I believe this is a good thing.


  • tomisb
    September 1, 2008

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    God, may I never been the poor man in this poem. Of course, I have probably been accused of that. Except I only compliment what touches me. Read my poems and make judgements about how bad my stuff is by the way the audience's listening feels to me. I, generally, leave quickly after the readings are over.

    Those that put others down to put themselves up I never take personally. They do it without regard but only to be regarded highly.
    Your description as usual is spot on. I applaud as always.


  • marc creamore
    September 1, 2008

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    Been in the same coffee bar Lanie . . . it is a rather dreary and ego driven place that I now avoid at all costs . . .

    Marc


    • Dalaney gold member
      September 2, 2008
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      Marc it is just so cool to see you here at my poetry. I love it, and I do so appreciate your comments and thoughts. Love, Lane


  • Swangrnv gold member
    September 1, 2008

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    wow

    I love this Layne! There's such a 'complex simplicity' to your writes, and it is clearly born from deep within. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WORK.


  • Amera gold member
    September 1, 2008

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    This is such a wonderful read and you drew the most amazing pictures in my mind. I need to find that "invisible rose garden"; maybe I could be a poet too. As far as the man you depict in this poem; I know who he is and he keeps his poems in his wallet not in his tweed jacket. Bravo Lane!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • sailor ptolema
    September 1, 2008

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    So, I've read this 4 times . Your powers of observation are so very exceptional. The way you look at people, and really 'see' them, is beautiful. This poem is just so gosh darn great! . It's fascinating what you can read about a person's body language when they think no one is watching them.

    Love it.

    Meg

    .


  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    This poem was written with your usual clarity and insight. I thought people like this were a stereotype but learned that they actually do exist, as you did. It's always struck me as hilarious that anyone would get highbrow about their poetry since so few people care about it. I suppose there are people in every medium who need to chop everyone else's heads off so they feel taller.

    I wrote a goofy poem about a similar person that you might enjoy. It's called The Pretentious Coffeehouse Poet-Type Guy. Here's the link -

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/357539

    Mark


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "how his thumb slowly slides
    up the thigh of a Bic pen"

    Jings! Your word-choice slays me. Excellent poem. "Who's the cynic?" it asks; and "Who has the schoolgirl crush?" The ambivalent portrait of the man, the faux poet, in his (deliberately?) tattered tweed, is magnificent.


  • Cat gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    this is cute.
    especially good is the thigh of the bic-

    i would choose tattered or tweed but not both-

    good poetry.

    m


  • Jersene gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    I love this snap shot of a moment...you bring the reader there and make us experience it too. Great penning


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 31, 2008
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    ...and on Mondays and Fridays he does restaurants.

    More brilliance!


  • malmadre gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    I like this quiet man you speak of, perhaps when he hangs up his coat, we can riffle through the pockets. You have quite a pocketful yourself there, and you have pulled one out for us to savor. In awe of you.

    • Dalaney gold member
      August 31, 2008
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      your comment means everything to me. Thank you so very much, Pat. Love, Lane


  • aliceramone
    August 31, 2008

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    interesting words crafted with precise esteem and deviltry...excellent piece bella flor con dulce corazon-bravo!


  • csmmoms2
    August 31, 2008
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    Quite lovely

    I'm that same poet who poses on certain days
    in uncertain ways
    In shadows and rose gardens


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 31, 2008
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      Your comment is very poetic...thank you so much for coming here to read my work. Love, Lane


  • Swan song gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    Now that reminds me of my english teacher he did not like me because I hit him in the hand with a snowball and he poured coffee on his brand new suit. Boys that do that dont write well lol. and Eglish teachers are bad at dodging snowballs lol Beautiful Dear


  • arafura gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    The most vivid imagery I've encountered for a long while. Your word choices are exceptional and it all reads so well. Bravo!


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 31, 2008
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      keep this up and you're going to spoil me Thank you so much for your kind comments and for the yellow dudes Love, Lane

  • mcfreeman
    August 31, 2008
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    I think I know this one...LOL

    very nicely done


  • Erik Ambrose gold member
    August 31, 2008
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    3 love the way you
    paint my mind
    with your words

    • Dalaney gold member
      August 31, 2008
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      thank you. you know what it
      means to me to hear from you.

      Love, Lane


  • IronMaiden1236
    August 31, 2008
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    Bastante Bien!!


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 31, 2008
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      ugh...you're going to have to remove that iron! I think I just broke a rib

      Love, Lane


  • paulcreates silver member
    August 31, 2008

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    "...and I watch
    how his thumb slowly slides
    up the thigh of a Bic pen..."
    The more I contemplate this line the more I realize the packed meaning. It's as if he's waiting in the shadows ready to pounce overwhelm and rape poetic innocence. I choose the word rape because there's anger behind every rape. Many critics act as though they've got a chip on their shoulder, then just whistle past the grave claiming detached objectivity.
    Don't let anyone, including that occasional "inner critic" ever convince you that your writing is not fascinating, fresh, and unerringly relevant Lane.

    Paul


  • JohnnyD gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    critics are but humanity's outlet for inbred pomposity.
    There are perhaps some good critics in the world
    on some subject, but if so, I have never pulled
    them out like lint from inside soiled Tweeds. then again, perhaps we are all critics of life, its just those who
    are critics of themselves are usually the most foolish,
    as being so, can leave one's promise- as you say-
    folded and faded.

    And yes, a very well done piece of work MS Get Your Works Published Smith!
    STOP thinking about it!
    Stop criticizing your work as they are great.
    AP is your incubator, Your chosen publisher is
    your world.

    Damnit Lane, be BOLD! Times awasting!
    Swing that sharpened sword of opportunity while
    before the temper cools.

    mumble, mumble, grumbling exasperations and expletives!




    Len


    • cricketjeff gold member
      August 31, 2008
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      I have my money waiting!!!
      I want that book, here, now!!!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    The imagery is delectable, the thigh of a Bic, how subtly litererotic!
    You paint such detailed pictures, great stuff

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