What sun, if any, what light
if it be brighter, can touch upon
the ovule and awaken the seed?
Veins wave and press upon tissue
seeping so as to cement a frailed
foundation.
The mind toils, sleepless in
bud-less humanity, ailed by
frozen emotions, hoping
fallen petals will bring forth
recognition.
There are roots that seek -
awaiting moment in twilight
where a pinprick of hope
delivers justice.
Today will create tomorrow;
path illuminates, shoots straight
through stem, watered by the
eternal gardener.
The flower reveals itself,
the roots dance triumphantly,
and the god of sustenance
continues fertilizing the soil.
Author notes
The Ovule (part of a flower) is like the egg in animals and once fertilisation has taken place will become the seed.
A contest entry
- "Roots" by kaibab.
1700 points, ended September 14, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Great Job
I agree with firefly... definitely a Shakespearean ring here. The line '...fallen petals will bring forth recognition' is so nice. Much enjoyed write!!
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Great, I wanted to write a poem about a flower without mentioning that it was actually a flower sort of like sylvia plaths "mushrooms" poem, Your poem is a great inspiration you must be really proud !
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I know this comment is two months later since your comment. Work, and life has been demanding and today someone commented on this poem. When, I read their comment I was conplelled to read my poem, and felt touched by it. I was feeling quite overwhelmed and realized that the poem had a message for me. Yes, I am proud, and somewhat shocked that these words came from me...bettersaid it came from a higher source. Poetry is magical. Thank you for your lovely comment.
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I love this one. Your voice is different here. I like it. The way you word things and the imagery you use really grabbed me and held me.
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Superb!
This was a magnificent display of your talent my dear! The voice almost reminded me of Shakespeare or renaissance-y if you will.
This poem painted phenomenal pictures in my mind and made me want to paint your words on canvas! Delightful flow! I really enjoyed this piece. Keep up the good work! I look forward to more from you.
Best wishes!
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Today will create tomorrow
the eternal gardener
lovely words, lovely poem
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There is a soft flowing mood to this write. Very lovely and most deserving of its honorable mention.
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This is an amazing piece of poetry you have penned.
I just love the way it reads, so soft and full of emotion.
It's truly is beautiful, best to you in all you do.
Tony
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I wanna be a dancing root...maybe an apprentice to the eternal gardener someday. Nice cadence here and effective word usage. U get a favorite.
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oh wow!
this is so beautiful!
you're writing is gorgeous, and i envy you're imagination!!! you painted a lovely picture here, and i think it's divine ^_^
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wow this is like a beautifully embroidered tapestry of delightfully creative language I love it
thanks so much
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Very Creative!
Well Woven and descriptive! Keep up the great work! -
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Thank you for the lovely comment.
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I love the line 'today will become tomorrow' they should say that line at every class graduation for many years to come. Such beautiful words here and seeing another side of plant life than how they strike the eye.
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The spirit of deliverance
is close to land,
the servent sending drill, as braver birthchild;
baring deep to sipping moisture,
daring leap to live, as love.
I think this is wonderful...thanks so much
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This is a strong poem. I can see a lot of poetic growth from you in this work! Good luck in the contest!
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Oh my god, to recieve a comment by you is such a blessing...The acklowdgement helps me to know that I'm growing as a poet.
Thank you so much!
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Excellent!
You pen so beautifully, this is a perfect example of that!
Such a wonderful piece period, and great for the contest!
Thanks for sharing the talent of you, peace and love.
-Timothy aka poeticweaver~
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"The flower reveals itself,
the roots dance triumphantly,
and the god of sustenance
continues fertilizing the soil."
WOW!
Vociferous Vibrations, Brava Scribe!
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Thank you for the lovely comment.
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This write is founded in strength of spirit...
the commitment we make to ourselves to reach
beyond the confines of normality as life presents
it~in black and white where we are the greys,
indistinguishable from the masses entrenched in
mortal ground. Wow, see how you've caused my
muse to deliberate? She will force me to find my
pen now! Blue
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it steadily reveals a progression of thought. It does have a quietness about it, a powerful quietness. It connects with the reader, with a very human voice and provokes so much so gently. Thankyou for a much needed write.
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A quiet, but powerful poem. It has a determined quality about it, strong, but gentle -- the way roots will work into concrete and split the concrete with their soft strength. This poem works it's way into the reader and takes root there, deep and entwined with the reader's heart.
Well done. Excellent.
Garrison
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Garrison, thank you so much for your indepth comment and observation. Your every word...hits home.
Thank you.
LL
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