We stand together at the starting line;
united in one boat,
listening avidly for the sound of God’s gun.
Trigger pulls back;
hammer flies forth,
bullet gets lost in sky,
eyes drenched by gunpowder.
Everyone runs in different directions,
racetrack a nameless mountain range,
begging for exploration.
Some run to higher ground;
a gargantuan, eternal climb,
and find themselves bathing in a sea of money.
Mere materialists,
seeing fortune and fame under
false euphoric light.
My heart says a prayer.
Others run with blindfold worn
find themselves in cyclones,
tumbling lower than any before them.
Star-crossed;
killed by the bitter cold
attacking their naked lips.
My heart says a prayer.
However I refused to be a simple drone
trapped in an unforgiving climate.
The gun had flooded my ears with noise,
but I decided not to run.
Refusing to play that ridiculous game:
Stayed in the boat alone.
Stuck with my foundations
bearing smiling lips,
committed an act definitively arcane.
Embraced my life;
holding the warm hands of my roots.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
George Orwell
Author notes
Prompt: Roots
A contest entry
- "Roots" by kaibab.
1700 points, ended September 14, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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You are a beginner, you say. but you do not write like a beginner.
Your poem is awesome. [That is the only teenage word I really know]. I think that because it is so mature in thought. Your words are well chosen, as though you have spent time dwelling upon word choices.
The feeling is inspirational -performing an arcane act, embracing your roots...that is deep thinking.
The Orwell quote is terrific and apt.
You also choose to enter the contest of Kaibab who is a master poet. If you want to improve, read some of his poems.
I think you write great poetry.
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Amazing!
I just finished my morning
, it's time to eat lunch & I've not had breakfast, but your amazing write gripped me & I had to comment. I love the flow & tempo of this, the very visual language & the metaphor! 
This brings to mind the movie 'Roots', Biblical Stories & just so many aspects of life in general. It's so packed full of imagery & powerful content I think I could wax prolific & write a book here! 
I'm very impressed with your writing poet. Man...
You turn me on! 
I'm in
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I serve the earth
in ground fermenting possiblility,
the slowly assent of mirror's mountain,
distracted in fountain spilling snow,
descending time to valley below,
the search for sea, and what might be.
thanks so much for such an entry
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This poem expresses many truths i especially like this part"I say they are star-crossed,killed by the bitter cold as it attacks their naked lips".There's just something about the way you worded everything you have great use of words and a very eye catching title.I also loved this part"Refusing to play that ridiculous game,I stayed in the boat alone." because it shows how you shouldnt follow something just because others do and even though your alone your also an a individual instead of being a follower.
Great poem hope to read more =]
. Rewarded 8
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i am impressed
now this is true poetry i liked this one a lot you did good and have improved a lot as well -
lovely
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Sry. It was supposed to look like this at the end:
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Wow. SO awesome. Indeed. Most people do just exist. To live is an entirely different story. I hope that you get the gold in this contest! *claps**claps*
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DAMN RIGHT!!!
STAND ALONE AND BE DIFFERENT AND U WILL INSPIRE OTHERZ 2 BE AZ WELL. i like dis one alot. dont be a drone!!!!
. Rewarded 4
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thanks a lot for reading an commenting
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Nice take on the prompt, great write, best wishes in your contest!
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thank you very much for commenting
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damn awesome poem!!
not trying to be anal or anything just thought u should know, u have ut, instead of but in the 6th verse
lol .. *applauds*
. Rewarded 4
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thanks for picking up on that there's always one I miss
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