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sulphuric certainty (Pt. I, Love in Chains Trilogy)


that old concept of “I would do anything for you”
raises an interested eyebrow once again,
because I really would do anything for you -
but within reason (of course)
and without hurting anyone
or causing the break-up of families
and those immediate fortunes
that surround them.


so I would do anything for you,
according to the senseless terms
of common sense.


but you know
that I can actually do
nothing
and there is a high degree of
sulphuric certainty
that this will kill us both
before we die.









A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Barry Hodges
    September 14

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    Yes indeed. Meaningless expressions of love have always been a bugbear of mine, especially when accompanied by gasps of joy from one or other partner. How much better to remain calm and detached. A well-written poem!


  • nevadapoet
    September 25, 2008

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    nice dance with your imagery...good flow, love the ending...and there is a high degree of
    sulphuric certainty
    that this will kill us both
    before we die.
    sulphuric certainty is powerful language it ends this piece with defining closure
    Shelly


  • Patpowers silver member
    September 23, 2008
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    Nice work again here Kezz! Well worth the honorable winner trophy in this! GOOD WORK AGAIN!!

  • evidently
    September 11, 2008

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    On the whole, titles which then turn out to be a phrase in the poem make me feel cheated. But that's probably just me. And apart from that, I really like this...


  • The Slant
    September 7, 2008

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    the first stanza is good. i feel like i can tell that you are just trying to get your point across though, and then the last two stanzas dive into what you are really saying and it blossoms into an wonderful poem. but the first stanza is just adequate. i would think of more poetic examples of things that would keep you from doing anything or something like that to change the first stanza. great poem though and a beyond intriguing idea.

    also the last stanza is a stone in my chest. amazing.


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    September 1, 2008

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    I like "sulphuric" - it brings to mind a few connotations and images:
    1) the sulphuric smell of matches
    2) sulfur in the water of hot springs
    3) sulphuric acid

    Okay, so I really have no idea what you were aiming for with that phrase, but I'm fairly certain it has something to do with the way you know how something has to end, but you really want to force it to end a different way. Or... maybe not. LOL.

    I love the poem though. I love how you detail exactly what you cannot do and then come to the realization there's absolutely nothing you can do, and even attempting to would destroy you both.

    Reminds me of an affair. In fact, "sulphuric" could also relate to an affair in that you can destroy your lives by igniting the fires of passion and the consequences can be caustic and damaging like acid.

    Okay, maybe I need some clarification. Don't make me think too hard.


  • SincerelyMegan
    August 31, 2008

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    I found this extremely interesting, I will read it a couple more times before I judge the contest.

    Would you mind to elaborate on your piece you've written?
    I'd love to get as much out of this as possible!

1 - 7 of 7