ever since i layed my eyes on you
I have been in love
even though i was 6 and you were 10
I still looked at you with dazing stair
my friends would tees me
and say it would never be
But I knew that some day it would be
Just me and you
And I dreamed about
You and I
Falling inn love
Getting married
And watching my friends
Stare with surprise
in their eyes
I dreamed about
You and I
still in love
having babies
and watching the grow
just like are love
You and I
I counted the day
until they turned into years
and then finally
after 10 years of waiting for you
you finally saw me in a different way
and you fell in love
and you dreamed about
You and I
You dreamed about
You and I
Falling inn love
Getting married
And watching my friends
Stare with surprise
in their eyes
I dreamed about
You and I
still in love
having babies
and watching the grow
just like are love
You and I
Now hear we are
As old as can be
still in love
Just you and I
Forever
Author notes
this is just a song that I wrote late at night. I was bord and, was lonley, and board. Did I mention i was board.
A contest entry
- songs by mitchie.
354 points, ended October 6, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what/who do you think of when you read this?
Comments
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this is great man i loved it let me refrash that im amazed by it.
keep up the good work and good luck!
lily!
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This is pretty good--who's it about anyway? I don't know anybody that's 17 years old that you ever liked
heh. Okay, here's a little critique for you...if you don't want suggestions don't read on!!!!!
One thing is, some lines rhyme and some don't. Try to make them all rhyme, or none rhyme. Second, there are just some spelling errors, not much though. You certainly improved since your first poem! But try Spell Checking. (Click the little 'spell check' link above your poem when you edit it). Oh, and one more thing. In the first stanza, the last line, it says "just me and you". Try "just you and me". It will sound better.
Other than those things, this is a beautiful poem! Good job! -
oh my gawd (notice i didnt say god--well now i did) but anyways i love this! you are so great at writing these poems!
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i really like this poem kayln its beautiful good job keep up the work love ya
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