to all my children in anguish, all over this world ...
and to tiny little brothers, fathering
dying little sisters ...
oh little morsel of bone
borne into smut and soot
tidbit of topsoil thrashed into being
precious angel ... dumped
oh bleeding bud of bloom
aborted into cold exclude
scrap of flotsam on ocean's seam
fragile flower ... thumped
oh shredded soul of own
let me drape you in soft love
let me hold you in warmth's gleam
divine starlight ... slummed
Author notes
Picture credit: Chick Harrity Photographer 1973- Tran Thi
Oh how my very soul is anguished at the sight of slight, precious life, abandoned in dirt ... Oh, to be able to hold to my breast the unwanted rests of poverty, forgotten by a cold and heartless world. Please, I beg of all readers: change the destination of at least ONE of these unfortunate little ones on YOUR path ... Open your eyes to the need!
Thank you for posting this contest. It is a very acute reminder.
Love to you, intense Soul.
In a list
A contest entry
- - Bare Bottom and Boxed - by Desire.
700 points, ended September 6, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 74 of 74
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Whoa. How incredibly beautiful. Still, it was heartbreaking to read. You did an excellent job stabbing over and over the heart of the reader with horror. You did an excellent job.
Write on.
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Thank you for your comment, SpydurPoet ...
and yes, I too felt the stabs while writing.
This picture is simply heartbreaking.
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this was really a great poem and i congratulate you on the contest!
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Thank you very much, Buddhax ...
It was heartwrenching to see this picture and I cried ... In my own life I strive to help those on my path who are needy.
We should share of us, and of our time and possessions.
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This poem has touched many people with its heartrending images. I'm happy to see a trophy on this page, congratulations sweetie.
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Thank you so much my Friend ...
the picture simply overwhelmed me ... I am glad Desire hosted this contest of social awareness ... it is a reminder again of how privilege we and how great our task is in sharing.
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Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: Terra Tear
This piece tugged hard at Spirit and while I was reading which I do several times~ Images come to me in many forms~ while taking in Your words: ...tidbit of topsoil- when I read this- I am reminded of how the seed planted whether it be a physical one or a mental one leaves an impact- the qualities within sprouts for all to see but I'm reminded of how the ones with the eyes open- whose hearts are allowed to beat in sync with another- help heal wounds brought on by neglect (all forms)- more could be done to nurture in this nation we live in~ after reading, I'm reminded again how stepping into the shoes of another helps to better understand- and for those without shoes to step into- one can feel the coldness of the cement~Spirit also better understands However this to be interpreted again
Whether metaphor or symbolism
Hopefully the above comment makes some sense~
Powerful take on the prompt ~
Excellent images & message You have brought forth
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Voice!
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
**Judging will be done shortly...
Many blessings too
and much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Thank you once again Desire ...
for the gold and for hosting this contest. As you can see, this was needed to open our eyes and to serve as a reminder to TRULY act. I am so grateful for each and every comment on this poem; it shows us that the hearts of our poets are in the right place.
Much love to you!
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See, that help a lot.
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Thank you, Angel.
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Oh an when I tried to tell you about the indent line thing, the web format prevented me from doing it....
Gr..
So, lets try this...
Oh precious angel
..............dumped
But instead of ....'s it would just be spaces!
Haha. I beat the system! -
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Thank you so much ... but as you say ...
this is the style of THIS poem.
I am afraid I cannot change it. I love punctuation, but, as you know, a poet should be versatile, and not interfere with the Muse. But that oh's? I shall give you credit for that, and change some. Happy now? Thank you Potato'tjie
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But lets point out some good stuff:
"scrap of flotsam on the ocean's seam" This is very good imagery. In fact, over all the imagery is very good.
"tidbit of topsoil thrashed" Good use of alliteration.
I really think you should consider the 'oh' thing I mentioned.
Now don't hate me for being honest
Loves
Best of luck. (I broke the comment up because it wouldn't load it.) -
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Okay Lovey ...
now you can appreciate "your" gold trophy
Thank you for your lively contribution.
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The subject matter is great. As has been commented a hundred times, but I'll get down to the more harsh commenting, because no one else will.
I know it seems to be some peoples style, but I'm not sure you actually meant to do it, so I'll point it out: No capitalization? I drives me nuts, but I know that some really do mean to do it, if that is you, then sorry.
I don't like the use of the ...'s I think instead it might be better to indent a new line like so:
Oh precious angel
dumped
You also don't have any real punctuation. Sorry, again, if this is you 'style'.
I think the "oh's" in this poem are over used and over dramatic and actually take away from the seriousness of the poem.
Over all I don't like the poem, really.
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Hey!
On second thoughts ... I think I shall take out an oh in each stanza ... the exit line oh's It does read better without it, Potato'tjie Thank you.
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Aw this so heartbreaking and a truly touching poem! Like the repetition in the poem. Great write. Xds-gX
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Thank you, Love
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Very creative moving write! Your imagery is alive! And your verbage here is beyond amazing...I do wish you good luck in this contest! Bravo!
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Thank you, Rose Angel ...
for the kind comment.
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amazing
this poem touched my heart! only a very tallented poet could have written with such power, such emotion and have captured so perfectly the very spirit and essence of every deprived, excluded, neglected and mistreated child in existance and yet to come!
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Thank you, Precious ...
for an enthusiastic comment.
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It exists. throughout the world. we are insulated, buffered, then when the light is clear there are choices.
A courageous piece to both gaze at what we know and wish we did not, and you move to the warming love where the other paths avert, or shrug.
clear eyed, commensurate with the clear light of vision and heart.
thank you for this piece.
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Thank you so much ...
for your intense comment ...
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This is very raw and sad. It is painful to see this and not be able to help. It's not fair. Wonderful piece.
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Thank you for reading and commenting ...
when you give a hug or a smile or a piece of bread to those not so fortunate, you are helping a lot. Even for those deprived, while in richess ... Many a lonely heart cries out to be seen. Thank you for truly seeing.
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an awesome take on the picture. A touching heart-felt write which clearly paints a picture of sadness and despair, then touched by an angel.
Great job.
Nevadapoet
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Thank you so much, Nevadapoet ...
for a precious comment. Love you.
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a brilliant take on the promt full of raw imagery and sad powerful emotions from stanza one through to stanza three good luck in the contest
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Thank you Maralisa ...
for reading and commenting ...
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This is a truly touching poem to go with a very shocking photograph. You have done the subject great justice.
Mike
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Thank you Mike ...
for taking time to read and comment.
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This is a very emotional write. The imagery you use really brings about emotion in me. I feel horrible at the conditions that these little beings go through. You did a very good write here that touches me to my very being. Good job on such a serious topic. Thanks for sharing
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Thank you so much, trekkergirl ...
for your heartfelt comment. Love to you.
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Wow. Blew me away right now. Very true and real.
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Thank you for reading ...
and for your appreciated comment. Love, Myra
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A very emotional and intense write.. You brought into focus something that needed to be. The imagery in this write is really vivid and heartfelt.. You really did such a wonderful job.. I really love it.. Thank you very much for sharing.. best of luck in the contest..
Angel
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Thank you, Angel ..
for a zesty comment. I know you truly see.
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whoah,
this was intense.
i think you captured the picture perfectly.
it made me feel sad inside.
great write,
mel
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Thank you, Mel ...
for reading my work and for commenting. I truly appreciate it.
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Beautiful writin but sad...Good Job
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Thank you for reading my work ...
and for commenting. I truly appreciate it.
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i can feel every emotion, you spelled it out so clearly. it is a hard sight to look at. thanks for writing about it. the world needs to hear this.
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Thank you ventus11 ...
for truly feeling my deep emotions on this topic. I cried while writing this. We should open our blind eyes and see the agony ... and then we must act, for seeing without deeds, is worth nothing at all.
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The earth cries
The earth is torn
Someone appears to have abandoned a little black puppy on my road. I brought him home. We call him Bob Barker. -
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Ah, Benjamin ...
you have a heart for big and small, for creature and creation. Thank you for your comment, Friend.
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Beautifully written but oh so sad. I feel helpless in the midst of such suffering. Pam
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Thank you Pam ...
for taking the time to read and to comment. I truly appreciate it.
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This poem made me cry. I think about little ones like this all the time.. the ones that have shaken baby syndrome... its so sad! very nicely wrote. this is really sad but i 'm glad you see the love for children because there are alot of people that don't!! great write it touched my heart! keep on penning!
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Thank you so much ...
for your loving heart and comment ...
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this was very well written good work!!! very emotional as well!! xx
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Thank you, Love!
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This poem describes an unconscionably large proportion of the next generation, children raising themselves without parents, without help. We can each do something to help - we must help someone wherever we are. The images are intense and moving.
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Thank you so much ...
for seeing through endopathic eyes.
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So Sad. I might cry, maybe that's cause I'm Ill though... Hmm. I agree with Slaughter Lord, last lines are creative. Well done. (: Thanks forn sharin
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Thank you Love.
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aww this is such a great write! The last line on each verse is awesum! I love it!!!!
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Thank you so much ...
for your very enthusiastic comment.
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De ziellozen die verantwoordelijk zijn voor het doelbewust creeren van de miserabele omstandigheden waarin een groot deel van de wereldbevolking is gedwongen te leven, is een last die zij zullen meedragen tot de dag des oordeels. Hun gebrek aan barmhartigheid zal de maatstaf zijn voor de aard van de straf die zij over zichzelf hebben afgeroepen. De tijd waarin dit zal gebeuren, is noet ver weg; de ellende voor hun slachtoffers zal dan ook plaats maken voor de oneindige liefde waaruit het leven in deze dimensie is ontstaan. Ack,
Chris
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My vriend Chris ...
veel hartseer en pyn kom dikwels nooit tot sig nie ... Ons kan slegs sorg vir diesulkes wat op ons pad kom. We are responsible for each and everyone on our path. Should we turn a blind eye, the shame is on us. Ack, beloved Chris.
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nice..
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Thank you so much, Susan ...
for reading and commenting.
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Wonderful Write ! Oh how heart breaking this poem is, yet full of such love as well as pain,and sorrow as well, as room for hope,faith,and charity. Your word's here are written well and full of what children out in this real world must face. As hard as it may be to know that it is really going on out here in this world that we all live in.Good luck In The contest ! And anyone whom can not feel the real pain, and sorrow in this poem, In my own opinion does not have a very big heart ! Brenda Gae
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Thank you Brenda ...
for a wondrous comment of beautiful truths. I appreciate every word.
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you have described very well a reaction shared to that awful picture. I love the opening
'oh little morsel of bone
borne into smut and soot
tidbit of topsoil thrashed into being'
nice use of alliteration there.
All in all heartfelt and succinct. good going.
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Thank you eataortic ...
for reading my words and for commenting.
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It painfully serves its purpose. I love "oh little morsel of bone". A poignant, heartfelt beauty. A lot of thought has gone into creating contrast between precious innocence and harsh inevitatable situation. it should certainly inspire. Thankyou.
Love Gem
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment ...
and for really seeing the process of poetic sharing from the heart.
Love to you
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You touched me inside by the sacred journey of your caring and values oriented words...I love it..well done..and my thanks for sharing it...
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Thank you, Friend ...
for taking the time to read and for your intense comment.
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emotional~
This poem really got to me....
Such a sad very thought provoking and emotional poem you have penned here sis...
And the words in your author's notes got to me as well
Best of luck in the contest
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Thank you Susan ...
for truly feeling the emotion behind the words. You are precious and you know suffering. Love Myra
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Oh, friend,
this write -
your heart
to the angers
of my very soul
weeps spirit ...
No more I shall say. A bunch to you and Desire, who hosts this competition.
Frans
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You have the heart of an endopath ...
and I love you for that. Thank you my friend.
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