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Uncommon Bonds.




Moonbeams accent
the gleam
of your eyes
half-lidded,
but the love light
burning there
is ten thousand
suns old.

I am Neanderthal in
warm meadow grasses
bent to worship you
with my flesh scepter.
you are a cave drawing
leading me inward
one most treasured
etched in soft strokes
you paint smiles
on my craggy face
descending.

Hearts stretched
tight like
antelope skin
in graceful flight
two staccato drums
beating that move
us to worship love.

All that is real
slips away into
the fantasy of
your gateway,
arms open and I
embrace timelessness.

We float
like waterlilies,
in an August stream,
undulating with
the current
of wet kisses
splashed.

What music is that
which tinkles
so jubilantly
in my ear,
Your succulent
sighs, soprano sweet,
sing wonders
to our coupling.

This ancient dance
rehearsed to perfection,
from one silk
clad thrust,
to many rhythmic
plunges of joy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Artis

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • davidwright silver member
    September 2, 2008

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    It's an interesting read. I'm curious as to what motivated the concept since I haven't read many poems dedicated to the cave man or is that a metaphor for something else. Happy trails


  • nevadapoet
    September 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a fine write and a pleasure to read.
    Nevadapoet


  • Truetome
    September 1, 2008

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    should it be in stanza two "you are my cave lady, damsel, woman, one, " ? instead of "you are my cave" just a thought. and a question mark in stanza six? "what music... or maybe add, "this is the music...of your succulent sighs... etc. " .. just some thoughts. truetome I think this poem can be granted some more time. an interesting narrative poem to read. ♫


  • Wolfdog silver member
    September 1, 2008

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    Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. You've expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.


  • light insight silver member
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Unique

    This was a very unique write and the picture set the stage for a surprise ending. I liked it because it was anything but predictable. Good luck in the contest. Take care, Rhon

  • cliche
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You certainly have a way with words. You have beautiful rhythm here, everything flows very nicely. I'm not always entirely sure what you are saying, but it does sound good coming out. The one small suggestion I will give is to change 'thousands' to 'thousand' since suns is pluralized, which makes it sound odd (to my ear) when spoken. So, I found one letter to critique in your poem. Good job and very well written


  • SincerelyMegan
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    At first I was a little iffy with the pictures at the top but to my surprise I was extremely happy with this poem.

    You used all of the perfect words to keep me interested and I got a wonderful picture painted in my mind.

    If I ever need to site a poem for it's beauty I would definitely pick this one!

    Good luck!


  • trekkergirl
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow very good. I liked the way you used imagery here. The neanthral and the cave painting... wow good job


  • georgie
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful as always... i miss ur work and im goin to jail soon so wun b able to read any but hope to catch u again when i get out. u have a talent unsurpassed
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx

1 - 9 of 9