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The great battle

It was a fearsome battle
One that if any minstrel caught wind of it
It would be sung into history for an eternity
Perhaps longer
Within it many
Perished, never to be seen again
Great heroes and heroine
And lovers just the same
Made their final stand
Before breathe slipped away
And most tragic lose
The fall of the great emotion love
Love, though a gentle emotion, started as well as ended the war
Lust, anger, envy, and hate were all powerful emotions
But none alone could contest the reigning power of love
But united all these emotions battled love and all who protected it
Love
Vanished, never to fully return
Weak imitations still walk the earth
Doing much more harm then good
Instead of creating smiles, tears are building
Instead of one joined heart, two broken ones
Instead of Love, hate

Author notes

I wasn't sure how to end it. But I kinda like it a little. Just needs a better end.

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Comments


  • kissjess
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    Oh dear Kim, the ending is great, I would never change that, and you shouldn't either.
    Just other minor changes.
    In line ten, it should be "breath", not "breathe".
    And I like the message that love will overcome!


  • SincerelyMegan
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I actually found the ending quite nice.

    Maybe it didn't seem complete to you, however, it pulled all loose ends together and gave great satisfaction!

    Good job.


  • Manoura xx
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, very powerful, GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


  • trekkergirl
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Actually I like the ending. At first I wasn't sure so I re-read the whole thing again and thought about it... yes, I do like the whole poem. Good job