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The Beach (Prose)

    The first waves of heat were rising off the black tar roof as she unfolded her chaise lounge half in half out of a baby pool. It was still filling with cool water when she positioned herself right next to the soothing sound, of the cooing pigeons in the carrier coop.

    She dreamed of the beach and the peaceful sound of the crashing waves, with the sun on her face and the cawing seagulls in the sky. Alas this rooftop was a poor substitute for a day on the beach, but it was hers and hers alone. She closed her eyes, and gently dangled her feet in the cold water of the baby pool as it became the death of a wave stretching up the beach to cool her toes before racing back to the birth of the next wave.

    Face turned up, she drank in the eternal rays of God's watchful eye as the first bead of sweat rolled off her brow carrying the scented flavor of coco butter and salt to her lips.
    The pigeons cooed and in her mind she heard the cawing of the gulls high over head. Wind swept waves of heat brushed past her as she flung ice water from her glass to greet its arrival and at once it became the ocean mist of this daydream. The elevated train rushed pass in the distance and in the echoing sounds of its passing, could be heard the crashing waves of her shore line.
    She laid her dog eared romance novel on her towel, eyes still closed, her picture was complete. She basked in the surreal image of her imagination.     If only for a moment, this moment, her moment, she was on the beach!

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • sharptooth
    November 24
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    a very lovely piece of prose you've written - especially with the coming of winter, images of summer are just...way more than welcome . great imagery and imagination in this - a small but awesome victory, indeed.
    thanks for submitting

  • Beautiful, serene imagery. Like said below, really gets you in the mood.
    I can't help think this is some kind of memory of mine. Strange

  • I love the beach! A lovely poem! x

  • She laid her dog eared romance novel on her beach towel

    Lol, I didn't think anyone else dog eared their pages of their books! XD
    Beautifully written, a pleasure to read (:

    Good luck & thanks for entering

    x

  • I can't understand commenters who refer to this work as a poem when you have clearly marked it as prose. You have a word "chase lounge" which does not exist in English or American -- you should have chaise longue. A delightful image.


  • Emmyb gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    extremely beautiful.

    Wind swept waves of heat brushed past her as she flung ice water from her glass to greet its arrival and at once it became the ocean mist of this daydream.

    its so sensual and peaceful. nice work.

  • 8

    A very beautiful poem. I like how you wrote it, but I think it could be broken into stanzas to read better. I love the imagery, though, and it was so vivid and beautiful. Thank you for entering. (:


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Thank You 4 Entering our Contest Project Un-Cliche

    Hi there I am a judge or the aboved name contest and any ways I found this poem to be highly irregular but then again quite well penned. any ways over all you pieced the poem together quite well and I liked how it flowed and the over all concept to the poem. good work and good luck in our contest


  • iverbthenoun
    September 17, 2008
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    this too imaginative. i liked it. very poetic and soft... thanks for entering.... good luck!


  • Peripatetic gold member
    September 7, 2008

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    The imagery in this story transports the reader to the rooftop, but also to the beach of the protagonist's imagination - which of course is the writer's own, but masterfully delivered in the 3rd person.
    The story is well-developed. I especially like the word "first" in the first line and the word "complete" in the last, climactic paragraph. The repetition of images from the first paragraph in the last also rounded out the story very nicely. We see them as a stretch at the beginning, but find them easy and natural at the end. I wish my imagination was as vivid as this.
    Well done!


    • BluesMan gold member
      September 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you very much for the wonderful comment I put a lot of time and thought into this write

1 - 11 of 11