The echoes of your fall resound
On the high rock walls around.
Your body in the ditch below me,
Blood sprayed as far as I can see.
No one to catch you as you fell,
You drank from the shallow well.
It turned all your actions black,
Marks the days you can't get back.
Author notes
Silverstar1993 "forever"
A contest entry
- Proudly Presenting: ROUND 1 by Walk-Free.
1000 points, ended August 31, 2008, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haunting Me by BlackBloodyRose.
450 points, ended August 31, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
a really visual write that shook me.
dark and emotional
thanks for entering~
-
wow. your poem and rhymes were very good!!! good luck in the contest!!! -slick99
-
good poem. very strong emotions and rhyme
-
Good poem. Like the rhyme. Sry I haven't been on. Life light weekend. Camping out the entire weekend. Gonna go back as soon as I shower.
-
Gruesome!
Quite graphic little poem here. Dark and dismaying! Well accomplished task! Good luck in the contest! Best reagrds
-
"It turned all your actions black,
Marks the days you can't get back. " i loves this line
"No one to catch you as you fell,
You drank from the shallow well." i love this line
great job
the imagry is amazing
-
This is a really strong image of the aftermath of a falling, I loved the way you rhymed in couplets and thought the last one was really great. Nice work x
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
