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chewing gum balloon






i can anticipate you-

on the bed
breathing out a bubble of silence
only to pop it with another word

you spread
the smell of comfort





Author notes

Aug. 30, 2008

It's in the simple things. Like sitting beside each other talking.

A contest entry

Honestly, is there anything special in this or is it plain cliche?

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully penned. I really dig the metaphoric quality of this one and it really gets the mind going. Great imagery. Yes, I like this one alot

    • piggyback
      October 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you!

      I really appreciate your comment.

      And in case you judged the contest as a mod (I wouldn't know but...) thanks for the gold.


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such impact achieved through simplicity - just as i like poetry to be. You're good, you know that!! Loved this one.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Veronica Leigh
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The title pulled me in and I'm really glad it did. This is so simple and really beautiful. Awesome job. I love it


  • Lauren Noir
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sigh, this is beautiful. I've never had the feeling...but you've made me want it. This is entrancing.


  • Mad As Rabbits
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The simple things are really the most precious things. Very nicely done, I loved the concept and the simple imagery. It just worked. It worked really well.

    Love Always,

    Caroline


  • lilAj
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    like it

    the simple things are sometimes the most touching
    yesterday I asked a friend of mine why he was so happy and inspired, and he told me
    when you're in love you find that it's in everything
    all the best
    ~Aj

    • piggyback
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I definitely agree with your friend
      Thanks for your sweet comment.

  • Rowan gold member
    August 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like simple things, bubblegum, and words as such.


  • glitterydoom
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. Thats so cool, I can really imagine the popping of the silence with words. Good luck in the contest


  • Polaja Greeters member
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You amaze me with your productivity the last two lines didn't really add anything for me (eep - sorry!) but the first two parts I loved I really like the popping sensation when the person speaks - I don't think I've ever heard it expressed like that before I wish you the best in the contest!

    Keep writing

    Polly

1 - 15 of 15