I'm rushing to the finish line
but I can't find the end
my shoelaces are tripping me
I can't pick up my pen.
Some birds are flying overhead
guns fire in the air
pain floods my insides
as they begin to tear
seven crows drop at my feet
blood dripping from their wounds
seven secrets I must keep
protecting seven crazy fools.
A contest entry
- Finish Strong by TabbyCat.
700 points, ended November 20, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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very archaic...unsure as to the meaning...but honestly, that didn't take away much from my enjoyment of this piece. It was haunting.
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Very interesting write. I really like the ryhme, the flow and the description. Curious to what the inspiration. Are the seven of things representing something?
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Represents that old children's rhyme:
"One for sorrow, two for mirth,
Three for a wedding, four for a birth,
Five for silver, six for gold,
Seven for a secret not to be told."
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Beautifully descriptive. You play to the senses quite nicely. Solid rhymes, and excellent rhythm.
Have some clappy dudes!
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Great write. well done.
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thumbs up
the last two lines are probably the best I've heard from you, ever. -
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Really? Those aren't even my fave in this poem..
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well, they're probably not actually the best ever, but I really like 'em for some reason.
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