I’ve been to Spain, I’ve been to Maine
and Arabic bazaars;
I’ve eaten grubs, I’ve drunk in pubs –
but death by deep-fried Mars?
I’ve dined on shark, I’ve dined on lark
and squid in Turkish bars;
I’ve drunk the rain, and French Champagne –
but death by deep-fried Mars?
I’ve dined on mince, I’ve gorged on quince,
pirozhki’d like the Czars;
When short of booze I ate my shoes –
but death by deep-fried Mars?
Once, for my sins, I raked in bins,
smoked stogies, old cigars;
I’ve banqueted, I’ve junketed –
but death by deep-fried Mars?
I’ve eaten fish at Liquorish,
and, for a few dinars,
I bought a crab-and-cheese kebab –
but death by deep-fried Mars?
Cholesterol? What fol-de-rol!
Just thank your lucky stars,
Five-veg-per-day, alive you’ll stay –
don’t die by deep-fried Mars!
Gold trophy winner
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