If Only I Had Known...

My eyes, filled with guilt,
my heart filled with sharp pain,
I should be there for her,
I should always be there for her.

The moment I realized there was something wrong,
I should have gotten the truth,
not let her hide behind her pills,
her words, and her fears.

I hear her talking to herself,
I hear the stress in her voice,
I see the toll that this life has taken,
as she falls deeper within herself.

Too afraid to ask what was wrong,
I've hidden behind my father for years,
but now I've come to truly realize,
I may be too late, this is all irreversible.

Maybe my father knew that.
I know he's trying to protect me,
but by hiding this,
I can't protect my mother.

I can't be there for her,
I can't understand what's wrong,
and I keep guessing,
and no one will answer.

I'm pushing forward,
even though it may be too late,
I love my mother more than anything,
and I will be there

to help her through it all.