Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Crawling Stars

Beneath the swaying branches of past youth,
Their petite forms embrace, watching the stars
Crawl across the blackened sky of truth.
Beneath the swaying branches of past youth,
This majestic willow steals all their ruth,
Slowly healing all their translucent scars.
Beneath the swaying branches of past youth,
Their petite forms embrace, watching the stars.

Author notes

Mm'kay; as stated above or below or wherever, this form is called a Triolet. The rhyme scheme is as follows: ABaAabAB. There's a few ways to write a Triolet, where it can have eight or ten syllables per line, or just disregard the syllable counts all together... I decided to challenge myself with the ten syllables, though I don't think I followed the pentameter part of it. I've always been rubbish at that.

In any event, this is an adaptation from my drabble called "Crawling Stars." This one is more... adorable, I think. A lot more innocent, that's for sure.

And, yes. =) It's late, and I can't think of anything else to ramble mindlessly about. I hope you all enjoy it. ♥

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Samplette gold member
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An excellent Triolet. Well crafted, with great thyme and rhythm. Thank you for entering the contest.
    Sam


    • Victoria of Aragon
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your kind words. I always feel that my form poetry is a little lacking, but I suppose that's my own fault for being so hard on myself.

      Best of luck in judging. I hope you get many more wonderful writes.


  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this, darling. It's beautiful and has a "pretty" feel to it. I saw no flaws, so for someone who can't think straight, you did pretty damn good, don't you think?

    And yesh, I lurves this like I lurrrrves youuuu. X3 ♥

    • Victoria of Aragon
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I tried to make it pretty, because the drabble was... horrid in its own accord. I can't recall it clearly, but I think it was a "what if" type thing, if Taylor ever cheated on Alex. And, of course, not the Taylor and Alex from SC, which makes things all the more complicated. e e;;

      I was also suprised that "ruth" WAS in fact a real word. Like, it meanssss... something. I forgot. But it's close to, like, pain and enxietyyy.. or something. ;> >

      SO YUSH. Thank you for your wonderful comment, babes. ♥ Andandand, I lurvels ewe tooooo.

1 - 5 of 5