Come gather me in thine arms sweet muses
Whisper in my ear that which would stir
the mortal senses and bend my hand to write
Terpsichore,thou with silver tongue so sweet
endow this empty vessel with melodious rhyme
for choir to grace the waves of air
Erato bestow thine amorous affectations
for passion desires no less than
Your loving refrain upon the lyre
Where warriors lie on blood soaked fields
Melpomene and Clio consign thine collaborative
efforts for I would extol the deeds of the fallen
Sit dear Calliope and dwell with me yet awhile
Whilst I quill heroism in epic proportion
journeys of kings on yet crumbling battlements
I search the heavens Urania for signs that may
impart to this thy servant planatary influence
means in which to posses the very stars of the heavens
And in comic delight Thalia lips upturned with
joyful glee bring forth the riddle of the ages
with which to break forth the comfines of my belly
Indeed, offspring of the mighty Zeus
Fail me not lest I whither in this arid desert
of unpenned glories for lack of inspiration!
A contest entry
- prewrites & critiques by endymion.
400 points, ends July 15, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
How does this poem make you feel? What was your general impression?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Came here to return the favour
hey - you have penned a classic here - way to go - I read the other comments on your excellent write and agree with them all - your choice of words are number one - so beatifully set in place to make the flow sweet. Bless God - Joe
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Beautifully Scribed!
Thank you for showing me this ...
Truly enchanting , free, bold!
Exquisite, representation of the broken travelers to be exulted upon the genuine path ... and of loves mercy askant, faith, in her abide, at peace and given boldness of sight, through prayer, guided through blindness, crying out to see, the joy of freedoms advance into light.
This is what I gathered form all of it ... ? Did I miss the point?
If so please expound upon me ... always willing to know ...
~ James ~
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Oh. This is an nice little poem that you have going on in here.
I'm not so good with the old style langauge or the references to names but I thought that it sounded good anyway.
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Hello Firefly53633. You expanded on this well, and I like how you kept this at the level when I first read it. I have to say, this is your best write yet in my opinion, from start to finish, great lines keep popping up. You slam dunked, hahaha. Stanza 6 line 2 should be "planetary". I would give you more applause but it won't allow it. My regards.
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Really like the first stanza. Says so well what most
people with writer's block are feeling.
The choice to forgo a more modern lexicon gave it a more powerful, emotional feel, as if the words are pouring out from some older place deep inside. Nice write!!
. Rewarded 4
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Take out the pen and release the beast.
Very Walt Whitman.
Shouting from the roof tops for inspiration.
You had no trouble here lass.
This seemed as though it just poured out of you.
Unlike some of the good well intentioned folks here,
very cute could not be any further from what this is.
This is Art.
In the true tradition.
You should be proud.
This difficult and may I say unique and stunning style is not easy to convey.
It comes from the howl of the ghosts and guides that fill your magic soul.
A gift to every reader....
given by a poet
unselfishly to strangers,
so we can open doors
in our own minds.
Great job lass,
LOWELL
. Rewarded 8
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My word! Your words, and your talent! You have the pen of the old Poetry writers...I am so impressed..I am just stunned at your pen my dear friend! Bravo!
. Rewarded 4
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For some odd reason, after reading this, I feel like a Greek god. I like the feeling. lol and the poem. Great write. I love your choice of vocabulary.
. Rewarded 4
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Apart from agreeing with the earlier comment regarding punctuation this is indeed an interesting write. It's a brave personage who attempts to use older forms of the English language - technically not 'olde' English - whatever that is, but late early modern I suppose one might call it - regardless, very brave in tackling this.Excellent use of imagery throughout and I did like the tone and flow of this. Thanks for sharing.
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Superb
Oh,'tis a fine write upon the inner creative process.
You have expressed yourself very well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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This is very cute! Thank you for sharing. This was very enjoyable, and I loved the ingration of the olde english words that we all have to suffer through in english class when we read shakespeare. The difference here is that you have done it amazingly well, and it was unbelievably enjoyable. If you had done a quatrain on every single greek god etc., I am very sure that it wouldn't have seemed nearly that long and would have been just as good. That being said, I think it was very tasteful how you chose your muses. If I had any left, I would give you applause.
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Very cute!
Nearly a throwback to "Romantic" poetry! I like the wording the few "three dollar words" and the flow / rhythm! This one is a bit funny to me! It smacks of sarcasim - did you really mean it to be so? Love this one!
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This is great my friend!
This is almost like a poet's prayer!
Very beautiful and creative work here.
Thanks for sharing this one!
Jeremy0826 -
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Thank you so much!
So glad you enjoyed it. I'm thinking of adding more to it!
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Hello Firefly53633.
I am sure you know my stance on punctuation, ahhaa. I do like how you have rooted this so firmly in greek mythology and do admit I had to look up what the Muses you have named stood for, so I do like the classical tip of the laurel wreath.
It also has a victorian romantic vibe to it, at least to me anyway. I do like this write, but think you can run with it more, get all the muses in, and slam dunk it. As it stands it is a good write, making it longer is just a personal preference.
My regards.
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Just so you know....
I took your advise and included all of the muses in "Entreaty to the muses". If you get a chance, I would like your opinion! Thanks and best regards
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