He cannot bring me to my knees
or make me feel that I am less.
Though I have tried so hard to please
I'm living under constant stress.
While chosen words seek to demean
he cannot bring me to my knees.
At times both vulgar and obscene
he seems immune to all my pleas.
When he is angered good sense flees
and he becomes a different man.
He cannot bring me to my knees
or rule me like he thinks he can.
The time has come for me to leave
before my spirit starts to freeze
and even as my soul will grieve
he cannot bring me to my knees.
Author notes
A Quatern is a sixteen line French form composed of four quatrains. It is similar to the Kyrielle and the Retourne. It has a refrain that is in a different place in each quatrain.
The first line of stanza one is the second line of stanza two, third line of stanza three, and fourth line of stanza four. A quatern has eight syllables per line.
In a list
A contest entry
- Poetic Form: Quatern - Prompt - Spirit by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended September 14, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think I could improve this poem?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Every word counts in this composition; each line glows, and a perfect voice sings a QUATERN that glows. "On My Own" is a sixteen flawless brilliant cut diamond on a diadem for Minerva.
In respect and appreciation,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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Amazing Quatern! Well-deserving of the gold trophy. You've kept cadance and flow throughout, and never lost the theme of your write. Well done!
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wow...truly one's spirit could not just easily be bent by someone...and this piece is an excellent proof of that...congrats on the gold! your quatern is a flawless one!
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Thank you for your entry
I don't usually resort to this word, but I must for this one, Wow! I was not expecting this from you. It was a shock to be sure, but not a bad thing. I definitley feel it ties in with the spirit prompt, as there are those who will try to break your spirit and rule over you, but the only ruler over our spirit's, soul's and lives is God. Nicely done. Thanks for showing me another side of you in poetic form.
The form was followed well. You followed the s.. ( I had to stop here, I didn't even count the syllables yet cause your poem so affected me lol) but after having gone back and counted, your syllable count is perfect. I appreciate you choosing to rhyme as I feel it lends nicely to the rhythm and flow of the poem.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
Ahh the feelings in this piece I know only too well. I have been exactly in this place, although many years ago now. The best thing I did was leave and am now happily remarried!(17 years later mind you)
But it's certainly a painful, grieving time, especially if there are children. But my daughter said to me years later that she had rathered I had left than hear the fighting that went on
Keep strong
Your spirit will survive!
An excellent, heartfelt piece.
All the best with this. I think Tammy will have her work set out for her judging this.
gaylene
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Thank you for your comments. I must add that this is based on the experiences of others for I am blessed with a kind and generous husband and have never found myself in this situation. But I ache for those who have been there.
Liz
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Perfect form in your poem.
This is a difficult subject to address without sounding whiney especially because of the repetitious form. It is evocative of the inner turmoil that leads to positive action. Nice flow and apt title.
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Simply put -
a poem of depth in 'straight from the heart' wording that makes a tremendous impact. The situation well described, and also the strength of her that utter these words. While I have 'enjoyed' this poem, it bleeds and angers my heart that love can be crushed in such a manner. No man has the right to such behave [and for that matter, none of us]. You have done well to offer this read to us. Frans
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