In the mirror as she gazed
she saw perfection for deception
a victim of betrayal
was her own reflection
All those years flawed
in all those moments of precision
she hid behind a mask
a smile which was a bleeding heart
Deeper as she gazed
beyond the barriers of her warm brown eyes
storms of darkness raged
behind the illusion of an enlightened soul
Blockage to consciousness
was her own concrete masquerade
forsaking her elucidation
were threads of wounds and vanished dreams…
A prisoner within herself she realised
those years of failure she tried to conceal behind her disguise
a life of deception is a disgrace
bless this life I must embrace
In the mirror as she gazed
There she stood unveiled
Still a child an innocent soul
With a smile on her face
Author notes
Sas3116
'read it'
A contest entry
- Figured You Out!! by cerridwen.
450 points, ended August 31, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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loved it!
I like this, this is beautiful.
I have just a couple of questions about these two stanzas (I LOVE them by the way they are my favorites):
Deeper as she gazed
beyond the barriers off[of?] her warm brown eyes
storm[s] of darkness ragged[raged?]
behind the illusion of an enlighten[ed] soul
Blockage to consciousness
was her own concrete masquerade self [consider removing 'self']
forsaking her elucidation
were[a?] thread[s] of wounds and vanished dreams
[...] i love the whole piece it is great just as it is. the suggestions in the brackets are only suggestions. I am blown away by the emotion and the imagry displayed.
Thank you for entering
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Thank You
Thank you for your comment and suggestions... still a bit new to poetry but am glad that u liked my poem...
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