our mountain spring water
its purity and beauty ~
life
Author notes
Author's Notes: A contest entry poem to the contest Haiku-me.
The theme of this Kuhai is PURITY! I live in the mountains of southern California and we have a spring like the one described in this poem. The photograph is the Lower Yosemite Falls by mathnerde of Tehachapi.
- Yellow Moon Winklings write Haiku group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Haiku-me by Kappa Pyua.
2100 points, ended September 22, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Why do you like short poems?
Comments
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I love how you took the image and in each successive line broke it down until it reached it purist form, "life"
Well-done!
Best,
El
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I like the statement that you make with these words. Not exactly a haiku, but close. Last line could just be "life", and for the statement second line, take out the comma and put "and" in it's place. This would make it a very good haiku. Just my opinion of course. thx for entering
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In three lines you make an image and set our thoughts going, connecting to knowledge and calling up memories. Your poem made me thirsty.
Good luck in the contest.
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