i watched you wither
with the capricious January winds,
and blotted jaundiced sweat
from your leather face
watching you
bisected my axis
and kept me fetal by your side
took painstaking efforts
to force farinaceous medication
into foods -- and your stomach
& laundered budding bed sores
to faultlessness
even through retarded
motor skills, your hands
caressed tearful discoloration
into a pigment that matched
(like magic)
school days were bereft;
given up for stories recalled
through a granular larynx
and an unrefined tongue
that night,
we assembled around your bed,
kissed your cheek
[that smelled like decay
during the summer]
and told you that everything would be okay...
it was okay
to let go of the threads
& meander into the blackness
that had been calling to you
for years
Author notes
x--Atelophobia--x
"Oma" is the Korean word for "Mother". I am not Korean, nor of Asian descent at all... but it's something I used to call my great grandmother before she died. I was six at the time, so obviously I didn't do all of this on my own; this is written from the point of view of my grandmother, my mother and myself during the last few days of her life. Before her death, she'd suffered four strokes and still would not take her medication... I hope this clears up some of the things in the poem.
And I guess I used the gorgeous vocab prompt for it.
However, I can't take full credit for this. LadyUnique's "sweet old man dreams" inspired me to write something like this. So yeah.
Hope this is what you're looking for lovey.
♣ Tegan
6/100
In a list
A contest entry
- [Gorgeous Vocabulary ♥] by whiterabbit..
400 points, ended October 29, 2008, 29 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
this is personal, i realize that I've entered this in a contest... but please be on the kinder side with comments. =S
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Great vocabulary! And "Oma" also means "Grandmother" in German.
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oh dear
i'm sorry. one of my friends on here's named is atelophopia and you got me just after i woke up so i didn't realize the name difference.
xD sorry.
lovely poem still!
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'oma' is also the maltese word for oma i believeee.
that's what we call my grandmother.
anywho.
"took painstaking efforts
to force farinaceous medication
into foods -- and your stomach
& laundered budding bed sores
to faultlessness
even through retarded
motor skills, your hands
caressed tearful discoloration
into a pigment that matched
(like magic)"
i'm happy you've written, i've missed you baby.
you are beautiful, and this is lovely.
♥
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Thank you for your kind comment... but... who are you exactly?
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gorgeous... very nostalgic and sad, bittersweet. you clearly show your feelings for your grandma in this both past and present... absolutely amazing.
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wow. This is amazing and such a sad write. It's even sadder after reading the author's notes. There's so much emotion in here that shows through so vividly that it's almost tangible. It's so beautifully written as well. This is exactly the type of entry I hoped I'd get. I even had to use a dictionary on a couple words
Brilliant write doll, I can't praise it enough.
♥
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holy cow girl!! my little write inspired this?? i am thoroughly flattered
i've often read a poem on AP that, in some way, inspired a write of my own. their words stir my little pot of words
this is beyond good. if i wrote this good when i was your age... well i can't imagine the different turns my life would have taken. don't ever give up writing because your talent is obvious
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awwww, hope it goes well, i'm sure youll write something brill ^_^
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=]
i'm working on it right now.
thanks for the vote of confidence!
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