I do things for reasons unknown.
I change my mind like the phases of the moon.
I don't know who I am, or what I'm doing.
Nothing seems right anymore.
When I was supposed to be worried and scared,
I was fine.
But with just the flip of a switch,
I'm in tears.
There's no reason for me to feel this way,
I just do.
My emotions are wreaking havoc on my life.
No one knows what to expect from me.
I don't even know who I am.
Just this morning,
My mom was telling me
how I was the only one she could count on.
But now I can't look her in the face without getting mad.
I'm not mad at her,
I'm just mad at myself.
I'm mad at myself for all the mistakes that I've made.
For all the things I've done wrong.
For all the things I can't take back.
I don't want to be the unreliable one.
I don't want to be different from anyone else.
I just want to be normal.
Or at least control my emotions,
instead of them controlling me.
I just want to be ok.
Author notes
Written January 17th, 2004
A contest entry
- Tell me a sorrowful story or show me emotions!!! by Jetsabel.
301 points, ended March 2, 2004, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Real Emotions of Life
I have a friend who's mother has bipolar disorder, and I'm not really sure what it's like to go through that. I have clinical depression and anxiety disorder, so I go through a lot, but I've heard that having bipolar is where you go off and on like a light bulb. One hour you may be up and going, then the next you're totally in the dark and on the verge of suicide. I'd really like to know more of how you deal with this problem in your life. It sounds interesting, but I also want to learn more about it, since I don't know all that much, and I can imagine what you've gone through in your life, whereas depression/anxiety is like a second cousin to biploar... Good write. It was like a piece out of a journal. I used to write in this way. So open, writing as if you were writing to the paper, itself. Very open and honest. I enjoyed it a lot. I hope you can get in touch with me on how things are going... -
Cellar Door~
Hey! I thought that this was a really good poem... If this is true I am really sorry... I really can't say that I know this feeling because I don't. Keep writing, I hope to get a chance to read more of your poems.
~!~Babie Gurl~!~ -
what a deep poem!~ i can relate to it so much! i really enjoyed it thanks for sharing it. you are a wonderfull writter keep it up! muah
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amazeing
awesome work. great depiction of the sickness that is bipolar. VEry moving very imaginative. And most definately personal. thanks for posting this one. -
Love it
Hey great write it's really powerful my sister is bipolar...
i can tell it's really hard to go through and i hope everything is going to be okay with you. This was a really moving, I enjoyed reading it. thanks for sharing.
Zoey
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I can comply with your emotion in this poem. Believe me when I say I know exactly how you are feeling... Been dealing with this for years. It is an excellent write... Keep up the good work!~
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thats really good, you describe bi polarism well
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awwwwwww omg i can totally relate to this my mom is bi polar i wrote a poem about her its called *im crying right now* i really really am sorry you haev to go through this i know exactly what its like and espesically during high school tons of love ~lauren*
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good poem.. I think alot of people could relate.. it's sad.. donnie darko fan are we..
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Wow very intense..i know exactly how this feels..and i know its hard when your emotions seem to take over, life just doesn't seem worth living, especially with having the burden of being bipolar. Its very hard trying to understand why you feel this way, everyday just waking up to more and more pain, but trust me it gets better
great write!
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Hmm..maybe I am bipolar. SOunds alot like me. Good expression though. Great job
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i know exactly how you feel. i used to feel that way all the time. ALL the time... i'm not really sure what happened, it was a long rough road. but now, life has come to mean so much more than i ever thought it could. and i couldn't be happier...
awesome write, thanks. -
great write
Really great poem, has alot of feelings in, i also feel like this sometimes... So thanx for sharing this... *ViviKa* -
i really can relate bc im suffer from bipolar disorder and it sucks. im happy one min and in a bad mood or cryin the next. well keep up the great writting -carolyn
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I think you do know who you are, you are this poem you discribed yourself in flaws as in not..and i love it. This poem jsut left me in awe of your work and i loved the way it was so flawlessly worded..."I change my mind like the phases of the moon." WOW what a vivd image that i would have never thgouht of in a million years i swear that was so well done i can't believe it.....TALENT...SO MUCH TALENT.....GREAT WORK!!!!
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Good poem. Sad thoughts. I think that's all anyone wants, just to be ok, to have control. It's a hard life thinking that you have no control, especialy when you don't even know yourself. Kind of reminds me of that song "My Friends" by the Red Hot Chilly Peppers. Anyway, just some thoughts. STP
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