Softly you surrender to the blackening light
And the deep dreamless sleep of eternal night.
A cold ocean of words that I still need to say
But the truculent current commands you away.
Trembling from the echoes of your distant laughter,
Pinpricks through the fabric of the haughty hereafter,
Though phantom sensations will never displace
The warmth of your fingers caressing my face.
Buckled by the beasts that carved you up inside,
Those agonizing demons you long struggled to hide
Their crystal claws recede now as you fade from sight
To the sweet dreamless sleep of eternal night.
A contest entry
- All-time Best Rhyming Prewrites by TabbyJoy.
600 points, ended September 23, 2008, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be published in the next Allpoetry Book! Theme: Grief by Kevin.
800 points, ended May 15, 111 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
wow...what a great piece of imagery and verse. You penned a fine one. THANKS and good luck in the next contest!
-
Ok...so the flow here was wonderful, first of all. And the imagery you've created was skilled and stunning in its efficacy. I was completely taken with the second stanza...
""trembling from the echos of your distant laughter,
pinpricks through the fabric of the haughty hereafter."
what an original line! -
Thank you for your entry in the contest. An excellent poem with good rhyme and flow.
All the best to you at judging
Sue and Jeff
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