Pretty young Polly sat beneath a tree,
as her tongue slowly did dry.
Along came three fellows,
with drinks amber yellow,
and soon after poor Polly did cry.
Though they soon became buds,
and played in the mud
again poor Polly did cry.
She wept to the pauper,
and wept to the queen,
but neither knew a way
to make her only dress clean.
She cried and she moaned
and all the earth groaned,
under the weight of her sinner's sigh.
No chemist knew the alchemy,
no witch new the spell,
that would return her white dress
to the beauty she once wore so well.
Author notes
I wrote a nursery rhyme
Comments
-
CUTE!
I think you have a brilliant little concept going on here! I sooo love the nursery rhymes! I do think that you could have gone a bit further with this write. It is to me a bit on the adult nursery rhyme trail, but that is okay!!
POETDONTKNOWIT
WRITING IT HER OWN WAY
-
This is incredible! So adorable! You will rewrite nursery rhymes for future generations I totally love it!
-
Though they soon became buds,
and played in the mud
again poor Polly did cry.
aw!
this is so cute!
especially the last four lines.
i like it a lot
-
To me it's a nice start but the real magic of a nursery rhyme is the perfect flow, and I kind of feel that this could use a bit more polish to make it flow well enough to be sung out loud. It is a nice piece though. I just feel that with a bit more editing you could make it even better.
Adding your comment:
