And how many times must I wish upon a falling bar stool?
Wondering why you've gone and taken my drink away?
And I'm here (hiccup) blowing all my god damn pay
Tell me why you've gone and snatch'd me drink away?
Son of a bitch (sneeze) there has to be a better lay
In this fucking piss trough than the tattoo on your ass
Tell me now, again, what was your name?
And how many times must I wish upon a falling bar stool?
Wonder she-it I've blown my whole life away (belch),
And I'm still stuck, with me and, your felch...
Wishing for another day and a tighter lay,
Whatever your name is, I fucking love you (wet fart)
Can't keep going on wishing for another bar stool
To break my head wide open on, then laugh and pound a boiler -
- Maker before I bend you over the dog house, and bone.
And how many times must I wish upon a falling bar stool?
Wondering blankly (zip) Why you've gone to church to pray.
So tell me now, are you straight again for God.
Dumpling, don't keep me waiting fur duckbutter patte.
Cuz I cunt spin around and cackle no mo, O-tay?
Come on home, and let's watch animal planet...
Tell me now, all the men you've popped off this
Same fucking stool trying to make me feel special?
YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY MOTHER, TALK IS CHEAP, CHEAP! WHORE.
Now, here was I? Yes, toppling off another bar stool.
And how many times must I wish upon a falling bar stool?
Wondering why you've gone with him to shoot pool
Tell me now, are my days on this stool numbered?
Can't keep waiting for you to fuck that plumber
Co dependent tramp, (wheeze)... Read my lips, "DIE!"
Cause tomorrow I might not be wishing upon another bar stool,
I might decide to grow the fuck up, and reveal my true identity,
The Count of Monte Travolte, creator of disco, Nabisco, Sysco,
and other corporate conglomerates for sweet Jesus and a clearer channel,
So fetch me another drink and shut the fuck up, this is my fucking
bar stool 'till you see me put my hat on bitch.
Author notes
Written January 17th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Alcohol by thehittmann.
300 points, ended March 19, 2004, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your worst job ever.. by Silent Cougar.
450 points, ended December 9, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
I think... I lost a few brain cells XD Indeed ironic in the extreme and how this write is halarious as all hell but really I just was so stunned I forgot what I was going to say! Background is almost a complete opposite of what the words are written as and your rhythm does have some point to it, random rhyme and the whole story behind it really just makes you pause and say - Wow... thats fucked up. *smirks* great piece, I looked through your archive and this one seemed the most interesting to me... SO far.
-
lmfao... yes, I know what you mean. falling off your stool and being so drunk and yet wondering why they take your drink away when all you want to do is drink and get laid. Nicely written horus
-
has me thinkin' of my youth
incredibly realistic
i see the mean side of a drunk here and some of the thoughts that make them angry and nasty
like i said... realistic
good write -
lol, i doubt im being all deep and meaningful here, but im to busy laughing my lungs out. fantasic. xxxxxxxxxx
-
here's my advice to you, take a dictionary, and where it as an ass hat. you are an obvious hack.
-
it is a lovely corrugated woman that can push you to stay lodged upon that barstool drinking, always drinking, that cheep vodka, or even tree sap Gin, what are you drinking now? beer, wine? both?
Barstools are often a very fun place to sit, especially when you're so little and everyone is a giant to you...
like me.
Nyx... -
Ah. I think I ran into this asshole not in a strip club but at the bar in Newark Airport waiting on canceled connecting to Phoenix. Tipped my cigerette ashes in his drink, flashed him and called security.
-
Belt It Down
Honest diplomatic criticism....damned...I hear the strangest voices in my head. Good thing I'm not drinking right now else I'd snort the hefeweizen right out my nose and that'd be a fine waste of a finer beer.
This is a lovely erudite ode to those who support the supply-side economic theory of the governing classes and to those lower class citizens who just need a moment to relax before returning to the war that IS life. Dull the pain, confuse the synapses and live to wear the grey garb another day.
Or is this simply a coded manifesto against the Dog Keepers of the monochrome police state? A call to arms for those who might summon the staggering courage to rise up and overthrow the oppression of the Capitalist Suppressors?
Or, thirdly, is it simply a humorous look at life? Yep. Well played! What's your handicap? Let's do lunch. Here's my card. -
Unique
Horus, I completely disagree with Sapo! In fact, I think I might have to applaud this! AWESOME JOB! I loved every piece of this...the bodily noises, the conflict, the vacillating between present and past, you name it! I find it quite enjoyably interesting! ~PeAcE~
PoeticEuphoria
-
Between the lines, I read the real poem ... Now strip all, Poet (NO pun intended!) and write THAT incredible poem ... but, but, BUT: without a single swear word. Now how's THAT for a challenge, upon a bar stool, Poet?
Myra -
They are already reading it, and odds are it will be read by 60 to 70 people by the end of the week.
Edited on Jan 17, 9:33 p.m. because ''. -
fu dang
this is a very poorly written.....its poorly ......I mean its really bad you should delete it it made me dumber just for havin' read it....Its terrible I mean it I'm not trying to be mean but this is honest diplomatic critism....I hope no one else wastes thier time reading this .......
Edited on Jan 18, 5:03 because 'edited by AnnD Moderator to remove spam.'. -
hehe...you sounded really drunk in this one...good role play...great script....
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
3 old applause
